December 2017
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today's my first anniversary! so I'm posting wedding photos!

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the kiss
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me deliriously happy
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my vivid violet wedding dress
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more smiles
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back that thing up!
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my girls and me
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the ceremony

The vows we wrote:

I take you to be my (husband/wife),
one with me in will.
I promise to cherish and encourage your spirit,
to help God defend your soul,
to relentlessly explore the depths of your mind,
and to pleasure your body with everything God gives me. (this line got a lot of comments at the reception!)
I promise to hold you accountable in our relationship with God,
and to seek my own relationship with Him above all else.
I dedicate my love to you forever,
and I promise to trust you no matter the circumstance.
I will be faithful to you in every way,
and commit myself to honesty with you.
I will always forgive you with God's help,
and will repent when I wrong you.
I promise to grow and to help you to grow,
and to seek to serve you all my life.

(me) I offer myself into your protection. Do you take me?
(Ben)I do.
(Ben) I offer myself to your care. Do you take me?
(me) I do.

"You may kiss the bride" -- upon which we kissed for a looong time, 'cause I had teased Ben endlessly about his lack of public affection, and he wanted to show me that now that we were married he'd have no problem with it. Pastor John ended up making a joke about it (which I can't remember for the life of me), everybody laughed, and we finally walked back down the aisle.

The bridesmaids/groomsmen walked in to Damien Rice's "Volcano," I walked down the aisle to the Cranberries "Dreams," and we walked out to Portishead's "Sour Times" ... I was planning on walking down the aisle to Metallica's "Nothing Else Matters" 'cause that's always been Ben's and my song (he can play it beautifully), but at the last minute we couldn't find the CD. But I think "Dreams" was really perfect after all...

And yes, I was barefoot. I wanted to be barefoot and have my hair down and free, because that's how I feel the most myself. And there were no flowers because I don't like flowers -- my bridesmaids carried dripless candles and I was emptyhanded.

Instead of having my dad walk me down the aisle, I walked down the aisle by myself (very nearly dancing, I was so giddy) and had the parents (both sets) give us to each other at the altar.

Pastor: "Mothers: As your daughter and son join in marriage, they will receive from each other the nurturing and counseling they once received from you. Do you release your son and daughter to each other's nurture and counsel?"
Mothers: "We do."
Pastor: "Fathers: As your son and daughter join in marriage, they will receive from each other the validation and protection they once received from you. Do you release your son and daughter to each other's validation and protection?"
Fathers: "We do."
[there was supposed to be a symbolic tie around our wrists that the parents removed, but we forgot them, so PJ ad-libbed]

feelings: happy
sounds: Damien Rice: "Volcano"

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acid_burns ══╣╠══
Happy anniversary! :)
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
thank you!
nessasplace ══╣╠══
Congrats! Mine is in 2 days!

You have to love December weddings!
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
Well early congrats to you too! ;-) Yes, December weddings are cool -- the church was all decked out in greenery and little white lights, so it was all dressed up for my wedding. ;-)
___breathing ══╣╠══
Whoa, that has got to be the most unique and gorgeous ceremony I've ever heard of. Simply amazing.

Agent Mu
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
thank you -- I wanted it to be unique. I wanted to have pizza at the reception, but I was the one paying so I didn't get ti have my way. In four years when we throw a wedding party we'll have pizza though. ;-)
anar_anar ══╣╠══
beautiful... happy anniversary! any plans for the day ?
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
thank you! No, we don't really have any plans for today -- we're broke until Wednesday at midnight, so we'll probably celebrate a little more after then.
individuality ══╣╠══
That's so incredibly sweet.

you two look great together too.

I love vows that are written by the people giving them, they always seem better and more signifigant and it just strikes me as what the vows really should be instead of the old traditional ones that seem a little worn around the edges.. but they still suit some people.

Happy anniversary! and I truly hope you have countless more
belenen ══╣gentle╠══
I definitely agree with you on the vows -- those old ones are for people who want to follow tradition, and I'm not one of those. ;-)

Thanks for the well-wishes.
misemifein2 ══╣╠══
Happy anniversary! (is it still monday there? I'm not sure how the time things work out, whether its later or earlier)

It one of your bridesmaids your husbands sister? The one who is right on the left of the photos looks sort of like him. Be really pleased if I'm right, I'm terrible at recognising similarities. Only realised my family look sort of the same when I drew them.

I love the neckline thing on your dress, the colour is lovely too! Is it chinese or japanese people that wear red for their weddings, traditionally? I can't remember.
belenen ══╣vivacious╠══
lol -- TWO of the bridesmaids are Ben's sisters. The tall one is his twin, the one who refused to stick out her butt is his younger sister.

Thanks about the neckline! I designed the dress and had it made -- that skirt is two full circles, very swirly. The only thing I wasn't pleased with was the waist -- I wanted it to be stiffer and have a sharper point, but it pleased me well enough. I love the color of the fabric -- it tends to look bluer in photos than it really is, but it's my very favorite color.
sky_falls_down ══╣╠══
i love the candle idea! it looks so gorgeous in that last picture.
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
maladroitkat ══╣fire╠══
Gorgeous dress. Gorgeous photos. Gorgeous you.

Happy anniversary.
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
thank you! And thank you on behalf of the photographer, Bob Storey.
mental_coercion ══╣╠══
Aww what a beautiful wedding.. your dress is stunning. I love the 'natural' idea with your long hair and going barefoot. It's like you created your own fairytale. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day together ;)
belenen ══╣beautiful╠══
thank you!
bluebl00d ══╣╠══
Happy Anniversary

The wedding sounded and looked really beautiful ;)
belenen ══╣beautiful╠══
Thank you!
moody_godess ══╣╠══
Happy Anniversary!

those vows were abso-fucking-lutely*i just watched Sex in the City last nite and the word is stuck in my head* beautiful.

now that's one wedding ceromony i would not have been bored at! and yes, its meant to be a compliment. hehe

definately orinal and i woulda been bawling like a baby!

great pics that ya went barefoot. i like shoes too much to do so...but that was very much you :) ...your dress was lovely too...llloooveee purple and white and teh off the shoulder look. gorgeous....k, im done now. xoxo
belenen ══╣vivacious╠══
hee hee thank you! I wanted it to be original and not boring. Who wants to watch a traditional wedding?

Thanks for the compliments on the dress -- I designed it and had it made, so it's a compliment to my artistry. ;-)

xoxo to you!
darkpool ══╣╠══
Beautiful pictures. I love your vows to, they're very nice. Congratulations on the one year anniversery! I hope you have many, many more.
belenen ══╣vivacious╠══
thank you!
genesiskenshin ══╣╠══
Congratulations on your 1st wedding anniversary. I hope you have many more happy anniversaries.

I have heard that the first year is the hardest one. What has been the hardest thing that you have had to overcome as a couple this year? IF it is too personal, then ignore the question.
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
Thank you!

And there's never a question that's too personal to ask me. I'd say the hardest thing we've had to deal with is my learning of the abuse in my past and starting to deal with that -- it totally messed up our sex life, and at first he wasn't as patient as he is now. And I often feel terribly guilty at not being able to perform -- both because I'm not pleasing him and because I'm not being who I was made to be. But we're slowly overcoming that, I think. That was definitely the biggest struggle.
vanillarosekiss ══╣╠══
Awww wow, its so beautiful *sheds emotional tear* You two look so truly happy, u two look like u were destined soulmates. I love the written vows. I'm just amazed...

I'm glad u two found each other...Happy Anniversary, and I wish u many more years of happiness and joy like u had on that first day!!!
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
We are destined soulmates... and it's a lovely thing.
Thank you!
amazedcreation ══╣candles╠══
You two are beautiful together - and you are adorable! Honestly. And the kiss picture is magical. I mean it's like looking into someone's dream. It is absolutely beautiful.
belenen ══╣gentle╠══
awww, thank you! And thank you on behalf of Bob Storey, the photographer. ;-)
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on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.