September 2017
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talk w/ Michael


Michael: what are you doing alseep
*** Auto-response sent to Michael: off somewhere... doing something... either alone or with someone. (don't you love the mystery?)
Belenen: I'm not
Belenen: Asleep
Michael: i love mystery but yours is an open book
Belenen: "you thing she's an open book but... you don't know which page to turn to, do you"
Belenen: *thinK
Belenen: --cake quote
Michael: im cellophane
Belenen: ah?
Belenen: interesting.
Michael: thats my new saying
Belenen: 'splain.
Michael: words may be glass but i am cellophane
Belenen: I like rolling that around in my mind
Belenen: sometimes you have a way with words
Michael: im glad your still thinking
Michael: sometimes?
Belenen: heh heh
Michael: i've been writing better lately because Van and i are having problems
Michael: i was writing about three a day
Belenen: yeah, a lousy life and wonderful writing tend to fuck regularly
Michael: wow
Belenen: ?
Michael: just a different side of you i havn't ever seen
Belenen: what is that?
Michael: i dont think i've ever heard you use fuck in an intellegent statement
Belenen: I don't think you've ever heard my use the word fuck period.
Michael: are you feeling sexy tonight or something
Belenen: I am careful who I say it around but it's one of my favorite words.
Michael: well i appreciate that then
Belenen: It's so perfect for an exclamation
Belenen: because it's the highest (or one of) human experiences.
Michael: when its done right
Belenen: true true
Michael: i've had many bad experiences that didn't take me high
Belenen: Don't really see how that fits
Michael: what do you mean
Belenen: fuck = extreme.
Michael: well it really does depend on how your using fuck. In what context are you refernig
Michael: the actually intercourse, the oral, the performing oral, or the home version
Belenen: LOL
Michael: all are considered fuck and not all are the extreme
Belenen: true
Belenen: I consider that there are 2 kinds of good sex: lovemaking and fucking
Michael: any experience yet
Michael: or just like to talk about it
Michael: getting informatio i mean
Belenen: lovemaking is when the emphasis is on a love connection and (nope, still a virgin) fucking is when the empahasis is pure physical pleasure
Michael: too bad
Belenen: well, Ben has more restraint than I. Then again, he doesn't consider us totally married, whereas I do.
Michael: well it wont be long now right?
Belenen: just 40 more days.
Michael: well i hope everything works the way it should
Michael: normally the first time its really bad for the woman
Michael: but im sure you know that already
Belenen: yeah
Michael: just trying to help
Belenen: I thought about that....
Michael: about what?
Belenen: That the first time will most likely be painful
Michael: well have you talked with another woman about this issue?
Belenen: oh yeah
Michael: what did they tell you
Belenen: my "mom" is an ob-gyn
Belenen: use lubricant
Michael: well im no expert but i know that that might not help all that much
Belenen: eh, I think by that time I'll be so damn horny it won't matter too much
Belenen: to me
Michael: anyway new subject ok -- I spent much of highschool trying to have this conversation with you and now that its happening i dont really like it
Michael: hahah
Belenen: lol
Michael: it will still hurt
Michael: its a physical regularity
Belenen: eh?
Belenen: regularity?
Michael: regular occurance
Michael: is that better for you
Belenen: nod
Michael: you know i make up my words to suit my needs
Belenen: ;-)
Belenen: hey, I use extounding regularly
Michael: well thank you
Belenen: or, "as a regularity"
Michael: i wear the shirt whenver i can
Belenen: ;-)
Belenen: coo'ness.
Belenen: I have a pic of it on my jewelry site now
Michael: i pretty horney myself so i know what you feelin
Michael: ahhah
Michael: cool
Michael: but with a girl like Van i'm always like that
Michael: shes so great on all the levels
Michael: and we are so much in love
Belenen: yeah.... well. You actually get some so stop bragging. At least until after I'm married; then I can top all your stories
Michael: but we are going to have to break up because we can't be together easily
Belenen: what??
Michael: i havn't in a while
Michael: remember she is Kurdish
Belenen: uh-huh....
Michael: i am not this means that her family wont expecpt me and they will desouwn her if they even knew about us at all
Belenen: wow.
Michael: and i never said i was getting some from her
Michael: yeah its horrible
Michael: its been so hard lately
Belenen: I didn't mean to be offesnive, I'm sorry
Belenen: really. I was just kidding around
Michael: we both dont know what to do -- it hurts to be away it hurts to be together but not as much
Michael: i know i was just setting the record straight
Belenen: so is it getting to be more pressure now or what?
Belenen: do her parents suspect?
Michael: not at all
Michael: if they did it would be very very bad so i know that they do not
Michael: so it sucks
Belenen: I'm sorry.
Michael: i have mixed feelings
Belenen: how so?
Michael: on one hand i have met the absolute woman of my dreams
Michael: and on the other she has known from the start that we couldn't be together easily
Michael: we were both nieve and hopeless romantics, believing that we could change her parent's mids
Michael: so it's as much my fault as hers
Belenen: I see.
Michael: i love her so much though
Belenen: I know
Michael: I mean this girl is everything i've ever wanted and she got some problems that balances everything out
Michael: and she likes me for me, which you know how hard that is
Belenen: to find
Michael: last week was just horrible
Belenen: It may be hard to find, but the people who like you for you are the only ones worth knowing
Belenen: what happened?
Michael: well that was when she told me that we can't be together and im still not sure exactly if we are or not
Belenen: wow
Michael: she wanted to just go back to being friends
Belenen: ohhh, Michael
Michael: i know from experience that that is impossible
Belenen: yeah. You can't take your heart back when you gave it without strings attached.
Michael: so after a bad week i broke down called her saterday went to see her and we hugged for five mins straight
Michael: thats a good way to put it
Belenen: how was her week?
Michael: same as mine
Michael: she went out partying last thursday without me
Michael: she was crying at the place and her friends weren't being too nice too her
Belenen: oh my gosh, some friends
Michael: yeah
Michael: i wsan't there and we didn't talk to much about them
Belenen: nod
Michael: dont you mean wynken blynken and Nod
Belenen: heh heh okay Chandler.
Michael: huh?
Belenen: (humor as a defense mechanism)
Michael: well yes but i dont know about chandler
Belenen: Chandler from Friends.... my show
Michael: no thats a poem thats real nice from Eugene Field
Belenen: lalalala llllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Michael: what does that response mean
Belenen: I was bored and confused by your sentance
Michael: whats punchuation
Belenen: exactly
Belenen: who wants it anyway?
Michael: thats bold language
Belenen: let's all be freeeeeeeezing
Belenen: or something
Belenen: I'm tired. I got up at 7 and worked all day
Michael: well it was good to talk with you
Belenen: and I have to get up at 7 agian
Belenen: yay
Michael: we shouldnt do this too much though
Belenen: ?
Belenen: because...
Michael: too much of me is a bad thing for people, you know that
Belenen: what?
Belenen: what do you mean by that?
Michael: i incite weirdness and irregular bouwl movements
Belenen: eh, got those anyway
Michael: i see...
Belenen: or at least the weirdness
Michael: eat alot of mexican
Michael: and then alot of chocolate
Michael: ?
Belenen: huh?
Belenen: I don't like chocolate.....
Michael: niether does Van
Belenen: and you seem phony as a nutritionist
Michael: i wonder where life will bring us
Belenen: really?
Michael: yeah
Belenen: does Van like popcorn?
Michael: why do i seem phony
Belenen: because you just recommended chocolate. Not a usual recommendation from a nutritionist
Belenen: so you must be a quack
Michael: well you shoud see me
Michael: i shouldn't be a nutritionalist
Belenen: ?
Michael: but then again im not even close to over weight
Belenen: duh
Michael: im still about 125 130
Belenen: lol
Belenen: my weight
Belenen: anyway, stop forgetting me.
Michael: what do you mean
Michael: i never forget you
Michael: your a friend i
Michael: '
Michael: ll
Belenen: you never contact me either
Michael: always remember
Michael: i could say the same thing
Michael: when's the last time you called me?
Belenen: oh yeah???? I've contacted you every time we've gotten in contact for the last three years!
Belenen: so there!
Michael: ummm i dont believe that is acurate
Michael: but i cant remember that too well
Belenen: well, substantiate your claim oh contradictory one.
Belenen: okay. My cell is 404 290 2023
Michael: no its not
Michael: hahhahha
Michael: yeah it is
Michael: i like to ump around the issue fucking it over
Belenen: um... yeah
Michael: fleaing from responsibility
Belenen: as always, fleaing
Michael: not at all anymore
Michael: i hit an artery and i've learned to swallow slowly
Michael: (my metephores are horrid at times)
Belenen: That's sweet..... in a vampirish sort of way
Michael: you dont know how funny that is to me in my relationship with Van
Belenen: funny what is? your metaphors?
Michael: the vampire comment
Belenen: why? 'splain!
Michael: dont you need sleep
Michael: or do you do that in the daylight
Belenen: I do that whenever possible. I'm disgustingly busy
Michael: mee toooo
Belenen: but the vampire thing has me curious
Belenen: tell!
Belenen: tell!
Michael: well ....
Michael: i can't
Michael: sorry
Belenen: why?
Michael: its a personal between us
Belenen: oh.
Belenen: dammit.
Belenen: do you have a livejournal?
Michael: you mean online
Belenen: yeah
Michael: no -- i wouldn't have time to keep one
Belenen: yeha
Michael: do you
Belenen: yeah
Michael: cool
Belenen: Del got me started
Michael: did you bring it up cause you wanted to share?
Belenen: (allison)
Belenen: well, I would have friended you if you had an LJ, but you don't.
Belenen: so I can't
Michael: sob
Michael: sob
Belenen: heh
Michael: poems are better anyway
Michael: i have written my favorite to this date recently
Belenen: a lot of LJers use it to post thier poens
Belenen: oh yeah?
Michael: well its a toss up but one of the top five at least
Belenen: what's the title?
Michael: Sometime on Cement
Belenen: awesome title
Michael:
"I have metal legs," I said
She looks off in sympathy
I totter back and forth
Falling for her glance

The metal has melted!!
How goes this magic?
That with a look she heals
With a gust, I fall

Fall is time of change
Nothing silver can stay
The most precious metal of all
Hangs around my neck and her feet

The pool of love
Shines like quicksilver
My joints are limber
I leap so high

Who knew that your spirit
Could turn metal to flesh
Save a person from standing
And change, everything, in fall

Belenen: I love it.
Michael: thanks
Belenen: you've really advanced
Michael: i've been playing with the idea of writing a song
Belenen: that would be very cool
Michael: i've writen more songs
Michael: my most recent success was an arrangment of a sam McGee exert
Belenen: sorry, I'm not knowledgeable enough to understand
Belenen: want to read one of my latest poems?
Michael: yeah
Belenen: okay... sexy or sardonic?
Michael: give me both im interested to see your sext side
Belenen: Scream
Michael: hmmm
Belenen: ?
Michael: im not really sure what your were goign for
Michael: hahahah
Michael: it was very very good
Belenen: In that one I concentrated on rhythm
Belenen: for obvious reasons
Belenen: so what did you think of the rhythm?
Michael: its never that smooth
Michael: hahahah
Michael: its good emphasis
Belenen: ok
Belenen: Oh, How Beautiful!
Michael: thats just obscene
Michael: great
Michael: but obscene
Belenen: why obscene?
Michael: so not like the girl i left in highschool
Belenen: why is that obscene?????
Michael: maybe its my interpretation after the first one but i thought that whole thing was saying that you craved substanance from cum
Michael: your starving for it
Belenen: no no no no no.
Michael: and that was a bit obscene even for me
Michael: could you understnad my interpretation though?
Belenen: I was comparing the "perfect" media hyped anorexic blond with those trees that have pretty white blossoms and smell awful
Belenen: yeah, I guess so.
Michael: i guess the ideas just crossed each other
Michael: but i can back my interpretation up
Belenen: oh, I can see how you'd get that if you read the poem assuming it was about sex in some way.
Michael: i have one for you
Belenen: fire away
Michael: this one is Suberu Nights
Michael: Gears shift
Heart beats race
Faster and faster into the night

"Lets stop here"
"Can't, let's go"
An endless search to find

Safety place
A playground
Where we can play for hours

Head lights beam
The road leans
Again the moon surrounds us

Blood flows
Heat rush
We found a place to play

Memorize
Pleasant
Of a time, not forgotten ever


Belenen: Oh, I like that
Michael: i can't tell you anything more about that poem
Belenen: well it's not that difficult to understand
Michael: just a disclaimer
Belenen: nod
Belenen: (Link: http://www.picturevillage.com/photo/showpic.php?uuid=7906&aid=11184&pid=138999)http://www.picturevillage.com/photo/showpic.php?uuid=7906&aid=11184&pid=138999
Michael: i wrote another inspired by maya angelu but i dont know where i put that one
Belenen: (a weird but cool photo)
Michael: who took that
Michael: i like it
Belenen: my Uncle Bob
Belenen: he's awesome
Michael: original name
Belenen: Bob Storey
Michael: hahaha
Michael: cool funny silly name
Belenen: ok
Belenen: nonnyways
Michael: we have so much to share sometime
Michael: maybe this thanksgiving we should meet up sometime and have a big exchange
Belenen: that would be coo'ness
Michael: is allison coming up
Belenen: yea
Belenen: h
Michael: alright now its official
Michael: so are you going to see the matrix
Michael: i didn't thin kyou were but i thought i ask
Michael: hahah
Belenen: of course
Belenen: Ben just went to see it for free tonihgt
Michael: what
Michael: how
Belenen: he's friends with Mike Fischer who works at cherokee 16
Michael: good for him
Belenen: hmph
Belenen: I'm envious
Michael: me too but what am i going to do so i'll be happy for him
Belenen: he's getting paid to not work all this week AND he's seeing Matrix3 early and free
Belenen: but he does have a hernia, a slight drawback
Belenen: which worries me
Michael: im sorry to hear he's in pain
Michael: how did it happen
Belenen: because I don't know how long it will take him to heal after surgery
Belenen: at work somehow
Michael: that's horrible
Belenen: yeah, it makes me freaked out just to hear about it
Michael: your not worried about the surgury your worried if he will be albe to perform in time
Michael: hahahh
Michael: or maybe im wrong
Belenen: yes, yes. Very selfish of me but yes
Belenen: and I hate the idea of him hurting in that area
Michael: well let me tell you that even when men are injured we are most of the time able to perfomr
Michael: I had stiches one time in my leg but it didn't matter
Belenen: yeah HE's not worried
Michael: good
Michael: bed
Michael: time to sleep
Belenen: indeed
Belenen: Loveya
Michael: love ya too
Belenen: byeness
Michael: later
Session Close (Michael): Tue Nov 04 02:08:36 2003
feelings: happy


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on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.