August 2017
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a little better...


I'm feeling a bit better today because I wrote to Patricia

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Hi Patricia,
I just talked to Evelyn, and she wasn't able to schedule me until July 9th, so I am wondering whether I should do the restoration series or not. I remembered you saying something about a book that you didn't want me to read until we had times set up so that you could kinda walk me through it, and I'm not sure if that was part of the restoration series or not.

I'm feeling very discouraged right now.

kristen (I was so depressed I couldn't even bring myself to sign my usual way, which is -Kris†en-)
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and she wrote me back

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Hi Kristen

Yes... by all means take the restoration series... the book I spoke to you about will be given out as part of the curriculum. The first seven weeks, will be dealing with topics covered by the talks, and the following 12 weeks will consist of a support group where we will work on the book and the workbook "Wounded Heart." So YES... please sign up.

Remember all things work for the good... maybe God has you waiting so that things can get stirred up in the meantime so when you start the Restoration Series, you will be "ripe."

I'm praying for you daily and trust that God is in control.

By the way I have a Restoration Workshop this Sat. so we will not have Belly Dancing class. Can you come this Thursday night instead? The class starts at 8 PM and ends at 9:30 PM. It would be great to see you and I think the dancing will be just what you need to pick up your spirits.

Hope to see you Thursday.

Blessings,

Tricia
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And no, I didn't go to bellydancing because I just didn't feel up to it... and I kinda wanted to but I had a hard time even getting out of bed, and I didn't want to push my body for 1.5 hours... lazy. And now of course I'm having second thoughts about it... when it's too LATE. What do you motivate yourself with when you can't see a goal? I'm disillusioned.

I was doing so well for a while, and now I'm sleeping for 10-14 hours a day and feeling drowsy for my waking time. I want to scream and flail about and kill and die. What is WRONG with me? Hm. I just remembered that I have been forgetting to take authority... and I think it also has something to do with Ben, but I'm not sure what.

*huge sigh*
feelings: discontent
connecting: ,


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on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.