November 2017
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alariya / foxfire


Spent time with alariya; we went to my favorite restaurant and just ate chips and dip, and left a $3 tip for a $7.35 meal. ;-) We talked, enjoying each other's presence. It had been a while since we spent time together. She's in a very transitory period in her life, moving and changing jobs and learning to be herself -- it's quite a load on her shoulders, but she's strong enough, she'll get through. Sometimes I don't know what to say to her, how to help her. The problem is, a lot of what she has to do is inner struggles, and I can't help with those. I can just... offer support and share my experience.

We watched Foxfire, which she loved. I was struck again by the power of that movie. I feel like I am a Maddie without Legs... I want someone to burst into my life in a flare of color and inspire me to stretch. It gets really boring (and lonely) stretching yourself... I know how Legs felt when Maddie didn't go with her, I know that aloneness. I can understand Legs' character better than any of the others, I just can't be her, not yet, because I haven't stretched enough, or not in the right way. That fearless fire!

I'm going to get that tattoo, but I want to get it for myself only. I don't want to share it. I want to get it to symbolize my own fire, my own glowing self, my fearlessness. Me. Because really, I am Legs. I just haven't had all the calalysts in my life, I have the fuel but not the spark. But the spark will come.

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Comments
acid_burns ══╣╠══
That's exactly how I feel about Legs and Maddie.
belenen ══╣artistic╠══
wandrlost ══╣╠══
tattoos can be so meaningful. i plan on getting a second one in a month or so once i finish a difficult life-changing process. it will be deeply personal.


though, i do share the the meanings of mine when asked... but we all have our own personal choices.



belenen ══╣analytical╠══
oh, by "all mine" I mean I don't want to get it as a matching tattoo with friends, like they did in the movie. I'll definitely share the reasons behind it if anyone's curious.
kmiotutsie ══╣╠══
have you read the book foxfire?? it's pretty brutal, i'd reccomend it. joyce carol oates
belenen ══╣analytical╠══
nope I haven't, but I plan to.
kmiotutsie ══╣╠══
yes yes, put it on your list ;-)
invisibleglue ══╣belenen heather╠══
I wish I could hang out with you two!
belenen ══╣vivacious╠══
hey, alariya has a nice-sized place now, you could come visit us and sleep at her place! She's mentioned wanting to visit you.
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.