February 2018
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time with Del / I danced in public!


I have the best friends ever. Seriously, sometimes I feel sorry for everyone who isn't me, 'cause they don't have all of my wonderful friends... and that's why I like to hook them up and make them befriend each other, 'cause I don't want to have all the wonderfulness to myself. Anyway.

jedibubbles and I went out and spent the day together. First we went to the local coffeehouse to sit on the green couch and talk about everything... that couch isn't even ours but it already holds so many memories... And I paid for my coffee with change! 'Cause Ben and I are that broke right now.

After a few hours, we went to my favorite Mexican restaurant (most of the waiters know me by now, as well they should 'cause I'm always dragging my friends there, and when it's Ben and I we hugely overtip) 'cause she insisted on buying me dinner. *kisses at Del* And this after alariya took me there earlier this week! I feel so amazingly blessed.

Oh and 'cause it was Thursday they had the traditional Mexican band playing (in full costume) and they stopped by our table and played for us, and tried to get us to dance -- jedibubbles got up right away, but I felt too self-conscious and I'm weird about dancing in front of people, so at first I said no, and then a different musician tried to take my hand and pull me up, but I refused. Then I sat there thinking to myself, why the hell aren't you getting up? You know you'd love to. The real you would do it with no hesitation at all. But I couldn't bring myself to just get up -- and then one of the musicians encouraged me again and finally I got up and danced! Then of course I was disappointed that I had missed out on most of the song, but I was SO proud of myself -- dancing with people watching has always been something that was very hard for me to do. (unless it's worship, then I am not even aware of other people's existence) VERY hard. So this marks a change in me -- before I'd have beat myself up about not having the guts to do it, but there's no way I'd have gotten up. I probably didn't look that great, because I was so nervous at first, and just as I got comfortable dancing, the song was over -- and then I was literally shaking afterwards. But I did it! It really helped that Del was so free and unafraid; I didn't feel like she'd judge me.

Sometimes I think the greatest gifts are the ones we don't even know we're giving.

sounds: Stars: "Krush" (thanks catnamedzane!)
connecting: , ,

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Comments
vineofcrescendo ══╣╠══
I'm glad you danced!
belenen ══╣luna lovegood╠══
me too. ;-)
bluebl00d ══╣╠══
So many times in situations like these we go against our inner voice giving us a pep talk and that's a great shame.

I'm glad you eventually followed it ;)
belenen ══╣mysterious╠══
I quite agree that it is a great shame. But it makes the times we do that much more important!
jedibubbles ══╣╠══
Aww! *huggles* I was so proud of you, esp. once I knew how hard it was for you!

Even though, you know, I didn't actually much of you dancing since I was too busy making an idiot of myself. ^_^ We'll just have to encourage this dancing in public thing, won't we?
belenen ══╣giggling╠══
Hee hee... yeah. I think you are the one person I know that I could dance in front of freely! That's pretty awesome... and sad at the same time 'cause now you're in FL! :-( I miss you. :-(
jedibubbles ══╣won-won╠══
Oh, and I'm off on Thursday night! I'm not really sure I should stay the night--can't exhaust myself before I go back--but I'll be there for hair-choppage.

My hairdresser's baby was born, btw. It was a little boy, not a little girl, so now I can shamelessly steal the girl name she was planning on.
belenen ══╣teasing╠══
Unless I steal it first! Just kidding, I wouldn't do that to you. ;-)
jdalycitym ══╣╠══
YAY! *claps and does the booty dance for ya*...lol
That is one my hardest things about going to the club, being abe to dance n fronot of everyone. But Im glad u conquered ur fear and did it anyways. To hell what other people say, besides there is always someone out there that dances ten times as worse than u do! LMAO *HUGS*
belenen ══╣vivacious╠══
Thanks for the encouragment! ;-)
tremontidood ══╣╠══
lol friends are awesome. Sounds like you had a wild time! :)
belenen ══╣bel hearts del╠══
time with Del is always wild fun!
boobearsguppie ══╣╠══
I am the kind of person who has 1 true friend. I can completley understand how you feel about your friends!
belenen ══╣analytical╠══
I was like that for a long time... now I can't really say that I have a 'best friend,' I just have several 'close friends' -- I miss that intimacy though, I miss having a best friend.
chillychilly22 ══╣╠══
Dancing with friends is my version of getting high lol You should do it more often! I took three of my best friends out to a spanish club. The one friend was white and doesn't know how to dance, but she got out on the dance floor and rocked out to her own white girl beat and we had a blast. :)
belenen ══╣vivacious╠══
Awesome! The best kind of people are the ones who aren't afraid of looking stupid for the sake of fun. ;-)
nikare ══╣╠══
: )
belenen ══╣luna lovegood╠══
;-)
shespoke ══╣╠══
I'm glad you danced. :) It would be very hard for me to do that. :(

On a totally unrelated note. I just sent you the money through paypal. So send me my pretty pretty princess jewels! :)
belenen ══╣vivacious╠══
Yet another reason why we should get together! We could rock out crazily together, spur each other on! ;-)

I can't WAIT for you to get your jewelry, I am REALLY really hoping that you'll love it. I don't think I've ever been this excited about selling a necklace!
sidheblessed ══╣╠══
Congratulations! Dacing in front of peple is a big step. I'm proud of you! *hugs*
belenen ══╣giggling╠══
I'm proud of me too! hee hee *hugs back*
lucid_dreamer ══╣╠══
That's Great! Good for you for gaining the courage you needed.
Things can only improve from this point.

:)
belenen ══╣vivacious╠══
True dat!!!
prinzessbtrfly ══╣╠══
i'm glad you had a good time. your day sounded fun! :)
belenen ══╣vivacious╠══
It was! ;-)
wandrlost ══╣╠══
ah, the feeling of music bringing your body alive...

pity that you are self conscious about dancing in front of people. doesn't belly dancing help with that?

"Sometimes I think the greatest gifts are the ones we don't even know we're giving." indeed. bravo!
belenen ══╣analytical╠══
Belly dancing helped a LOT with that, actually. Before I took belly dance there's no way I'd have stood up, much less relaxed after a minute. Dancing is just such a sacred thing to me, I can't stand the idea of anyone passing judgement on my dancing. Kinda like not wanting to share a certain poem because it means too much and you don't want to see it in a negative light... do you see?
aubkabob ══╣dancing weenies╠══
it makes me sad how our insecurities cause us to miss out on life sometimes. especially lately. stupid insecurities.

i'm very happy for you :)
belenen ══╣vivacious╠══
;-)
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.