November 2017
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-$34


Fuck.

I thought, oh yay, I have money coming in, that $28 will get us through until the 8th (next payday). But oops, we overdrew our account by TWO FUCKING DOLLARS, and now with the fee we're overdrawn $34 and that money isn't going to do us a damn bit of good. And we have very few groceries and almost no gas, likely we'll have to borrow some money from SOMEWHERE just to have enough gas to get Ben to and from work. And it doesn't help that gas is way fucking expensive.

And nope, I don't feel guilty for being upset over my own problems while other people have worse problems. There are always those who are suffering more than me and those who are suffering less.

On top of all the turmoil I've gone through the past two days... seeing that actually made me cry. It just... crushed my hopes. Now I don't even have the money to ship Kate's handflower when I get it finished, so she's going to have to wait extra.

I was going to catch up on the comments in my journal and inbox, but now I just don't have the energy... I'm going to bed. Sorry for being so depressing.


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Comments
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untoldeuphemism ══╣╠══
"There are always those who are suffering more than me and those who are suffering less."

That's what I call a reality sandwich since each of us is stuck in the middle with the better off above us like the top piece of bread and the worse off beneath us like the bottom piece of bread.

I go through the same thing because I tend to get caught up in my dilemmas then feel guilty because in the grande scheme of things, it could be much much worse but that still doesn't make the pain and worry of whatever's bugging me any less although I can still be grateful that it is not as bad as it could be since I have been there and done that.
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
I like your 'reality sandwich' analogy. ;-)
wittypnai ══╣╠══
i do hope things will be better soon for you *hugs
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
thank you *hugs back*
kabandra ══╣╠══
belenen ══╣gentle╠══
thank you, believe me I appreciate the prayers muchly.
kevloid ══╣╠══
that sucks. :-/ maybe you can talk to the bank about the fee?
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
did! Or Ben did, rather. ;-)
kevloid ══╣╠══
shioneh ══╣magic!╠══
I am sorry you are going through this <3 would ben taking public transport to work be cheaper than gas perhaps? you've probably thought of that and dismissed it for a good reason already though.. wish there was something i could do to help.

like the above commenter said, maybe you can talk to the bank about it.. you are in my thoughts, good luck and don't feel bad about not replying to comments and journal entries! you can't have energy for everyone else when you are low on energy for YOU.
on a related note, i want to apoligise for never replying to your comments in my journal.. it is not that i don't really appreciate them it is just that i too have been feeling pretty exhausted at the moment.

xxxxxx
ex_alariya46 ══╣╠══
We don't really have public transportation around here. We only have like buses and stuff in the next city south of us, and Marta really only in Atlanta, as sprawling as that hungry, ever-growing city is.
belenen ══╣╠══
wandrlost ══╣╠══
it constantly blows me away that a socially constructed idea of worth (money is nothing more than the idea of worth -- when it comes to banks and credit and... there isn't even actual pieces of paper money floating around, just the notion of money) can upset us so. i know the feeling well. but, it still amazes me.

i hope you get through ok!
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
yeah, money... such a strange thing, when you really think about it.
writer_lilies ══╣╠══
I wouldn't feel guilty either. Comparing suffering only ends up making people depressed. Yes, there are other people going through other things, but if your situation bothers you, it bothers you. It's that simple.
belenen ══╣passionate╠══
Comparing suffering only ends up making people depressed.

Exactly! And you can never compare two people's situations, because everyone reacts differently.
gracie4881 ══╣╠══
things will get better *hugs*
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
thanks ;-) *hugs back*
jedibubbles ══╣╠══
*huggles* The Suffering Sandwich--lots of people worse of, lots of people better off--is a great analogy. And overdrawing totally bites; I'm always in danger of doing it with my horrible habits.

Hey, can you email me your address, babe?
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
oh! Silly me. I'll get that emailed asap. ;-)
synisterchyck ══╣╠══
Georgia Thomas: Ally, what makes your problems so much bigger than everybody else's?
Ally McBeal: They're mine.
belenen ══╣teasing╠══
Exactly. ;-)
prinzessbtrfly ══╣turtle╠══
i hope you feel better after your nap. a nap when depressed sometimes helps me too! :)
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
It did help. ;-)
genesiskenshin ══╣╠══
Kristen, honey, If I could give you money, I would. But I am getting stretched really thin too. I really wish I could give to the hurrican victims too, but Pbulix doesnt work me enough despite me begging on my knees. Pretty much literally too.
belenen ══╣giggling╠══
awwww, you are so sweeeeeet! Really, that touched me. *hugggg*

Maybe you should look for a different job? Wal-mart pays quite well. ;-)
nikare ══╣╠══
The intensity one feels about a situation is directly proportional to its proximity. The closer you are to it, the more it affects you.

I do hope your finances work out for you sooner than you anticipate.
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
thanks. ;-)
eternitywaiting ══╣╠══
You have no responsibility to take the world on your shoulders, and every right to be upset over your own problems. I hate when someone responds to my own woes by telling me someone else has it worse. Fucking duh, someone always has it worse.

And I overdrew my account by 50 cents once, so don't feel bad. :-P

*hugs*
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
You have no responsibility to take the world on your shoulders, and every right to be upset over your own problems.

amen, yo.
aubkabob ══╣celes╠══
i'm sorry that things are so ick for you lately, luv. money... grah. i'm quite angry at money lately. quite quite quite.

*mentally pets you*

i'm sorry that i don't have anything more... mindblowing or comforting to say. i just wanted to let you know that i read it, that i care, that i'm sorry things are rough.

love you.
belenen ══╣loving╠══
Thank you for loving me and caring. ;-) It means so much.
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on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.