November 2017
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phone / work / God's been reaching out to me


DAMMIT! Because I paid my phone bill 6 days early, they turned it off. Fuck. I am seriously so pissed about that. Ben said he'd deal with it when he gets off of work, though. They better work it out or I'm gonna be borrowing a phone to call some people and throw fits! This is ridiculous.

They're working me way too much for my taste. My Tuesdays and Saturdays are already filled with counseling & support group & church & home group & (very soon) bellydancing, and then I work four 9-hr days -- so I only have ONE DAY to relax. Me no lika dat. But I'll suffer for a bit so that we can get ahead faster. Oh, and the other day, I came back from lunch and Polly was taking out my drawer, and she said, "Kristen?" "Yeah?" "Thank you for coming back." She said it so sincerely and with such relief. I am teh bestest!

God has been really reaching out to me lately. I am convinced that some of the ladies in my support group must have been praying extra hard for me last week, because I have felt a change in my spirit. I can't pin it down, but something is different. Maybe there's one less demon whispering in my ear. I find it a little easier to hope. And I was working yesterday and one of the women in my group saw me from a distance and God moved her to write me a little note of encouragement and give it to me. She included Romans 8:28-29 -- "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn, with many brothers and sisters." This is a verse I have told myself many times, and I believe it about everything else, but when it comes to sexual abuse... "all things"... I don't feel like he worked for my good. And it's something I have to find for myself, so please don't try to help me see it.

sounds: Kosheen: "Pride"
connecting: ,

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Comments
wandrlost ══╣╠══
they turned off your phone because you payed your bill EARLY?!?!? good to see their giving out free crack cocaine at the phone company.

wow, that IS a busy schedule. i hope you DO take some time for yourself.

oddly, whenever my life threatens to go off the rails (which is not very often, i think twice maybe), my mother's prayer group puts some extra oomph in their prayers for me. apparently, it works. i mean, i'm still here, right? glad you have people looking out for you and caring.
acid_burns ══╣ellie parker is teh shiznit╠══
good to see their giving out free crack cocaine at the phone company.

That made me giggle.
wandrlost ══╣╠══
just a public service from your friendly neighbourhood wandrlost.
;)
belenen ══╣vivacious╠══
glad you have people looking out for you and caring

Me too. ;-)
bluebl00d ══╣╠══
What? That's a first turning the phone off for paying it early, what the hell are they going to do if you pay it late? Chop off the poll outisde your house?
acid_burns ══╣ellie parker is teh shiznit╠══
I was thinking the exact same. I can delay paying my bills for 3 weeks before I get a NOTICE! lol.
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
I know, it's ridiculous -- it's not actually for paying early, apparently it's this whole complicated thing that can be summed up by saying that they're trying to cheat me. Well that ain't gonna happen! We're supposed to go talk to a manager tomorrow.
thesaj ══╣╠══
I had Dell do that to me cause I sent my $100 in and well, although it arrived on like the 3rd/4th of the month (it being due at the end of the month). It was before their (and they never informed me of this) 6th due date so they applied to the prior month and said I was late.

WTF

Why are these financial companies such bloody morons?????
soulresilience ══╣meer!!╠══
Dell Financial is THE DEVIL!
thesaj ══╣╠══
Yeah they are...

DELL is the DEviLL

Their computer system is so disorganized it take three orders to get your order done. And 20 hours of phone time.
soulresilience ══╣meer!!╠══
I used their online payment system and it didn't work and now *I* have to pay a $35 late payment fee because the online payment company didn't let me know it didn't go through until SEVEN DAYS later. And omg don't even TRY to speak to someone who's first language is English.
thesaj ══╣╠══
I think I offended one of them when I said "Please, can I be transferred to someone who does not live in India."

A minute later he was like "And I am not Indian!!!"

Quite profusely, I think he was in Pakistan. *lol*

Regards, at that point, I was tired of having been on the phone for 30 minutes and spending half of that time dealing with failings in linguistic understandings preventing me from getting him to see the actual problem.

soulresilience ══╣donkey╠══
My last name is difficult to pronounce, well, not too difficult, but anyway...so needless to say there is a pause between Miss and my last name...and they end every sentence with it. The last person I talked to was talking to me like I was a child too. Ugh. So not buying anything else from them. The one time I got a computer, I wanted to return it and they were all like "we'll give you this if you keep it." And on and on. The best they could do was $200 cash. I was like pfft. Expect the computer in the mail. None of this is making much sense and kind of leaps from one point to the next so I'll just shut up now.
belenen ══╣upset╠══
I KNOW!!! WHY???!?!?!?
boobearsguppie ══╣╠══
you paid 6 days EARLY and they shut the phone off!!!!!
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
I know, it's ridiculous -- it's not actually for paying early, apparently it's this whole complicated thing that can be summed up by saying that they're trying to cheat me. Well that ain't gonna happen! We're supposed to go talk to a manager tomorrow.
ex_alariya46 ══╣╠══
I think it's in their clause for phone companies to all suck. I was wondering why I couldn't call ya. =/

I miss you.
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
yep... damn phone company.
baka_shampoo ══╣╠══
that's horrible.
I can't believe a phone company would do that. then again, a lot of companies have been slacking in buisness.
ugh, so much is going on for everyone. I hope you can handle the pressure.
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
thanks for the well-wishes. ;-)
lilerthkwake ══╣╠══
I love that verse. It's tought to believe, especially when you look at your life and think, "How the hell could THAT work for my good?" You're right, it's something you have to come to understand through God's revelation.



Your hopeful, energetic attitude is always a breath of fresh air.
belenen ══╣loving╠══
Your hopeful, energetic attitude is always a breath of fresh air.

awww... thank you! That means a lot. ;-)
lilerthkwake ══╣╠══
You are!
scream_baby ══╣╠══
belenen ══╣shimmering╠══
what you discover to be your truth. No one on this earth can truly show it to you, they can only hope to help by offering gentle guidance

Exactly, you said it so well. ;-)
abstractfish ══╣╠══
I don't mean to sound presumptuous, but I think that your past had to happen to make your present what it is. maybe if you hadn't been the target of that abuse, you wouldn't have found god in the way you have now.
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
yeah, maybe.
sidheblessed ══╣╠══
They turned it off because you piad it early? Now that's beyond stupid.

It does sound like you're working a lot. I know the feeling, for awhile there I was working six days a week and once i even ended up working fourteen days in a row. cam't tell you how sick I was afterwards. once you're ahead with money, I'd think about backing off alittle. Don't want you to wear yourself out!
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
Yeah, a REAL day off is such a relief. I don't call it a day off if I have to spend it running around or if I spend most of it in support group -- those require energy. A real day off is when you do NOTHING but what you want to do. ;-)
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.