September 2017
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fighting, weakening... exhausted and lonely


I've been deeply struggling for the past day or so, fighting to keep my head above water... I read something about an abuse that didn't trigger me (which is good, it shows progress) but did make me terribly terribly sad. And I keep trying to let it go... but I can't quite seem to do it. And Ben's been having allergy/asthma problems... so I feel like I shouldn't add any burden to him, and if I told him I know he'd most likely feel worse than I do. I'm lonely.

I'm really really lonely. And my spirit has fought so hard for the past two weeks... I'm exhausted.

I just want someone to hold me... someone stronger than me... and I want the freedom to weep, rather than dropping a few tears and stopping up the bottle again.

I haven't forgotten you, some of your comments and posts have touched me deeply and I will respond, but I just don't have the strength right now -- and I know that me not having gotten more than 5.5 hours of sleep per day for the last week hasn't helped.


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on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.