February 2018
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a question...


Ben just started up a new journal -- frenetik. He says the old one reminds him too much of his old cynical self, and he is seriously entertaining the idea of actually using this new LJ! Everyone feel free to friend him, but be forwarned that he's pretty picky about who he will add. And he's crazy about computers, in case you can't guess that from his second entry.

Ben asked me this and it got me thinking -- Why did you start your LJ? And why do you continue it now? Everyone please respond, I'm very curious.

I started my LJ to keep in touch with jedibubbles, and a few months in, I developed a new goal:

I want to learn to be totally transparent. I want to be unashamedly myself: totally honest and open, unafraid of breaking social laws, colorful and alive. I want to be just as open with strangers as I am with those I love most.

Now, that is still part of my goal, but I have an additional part: to connect deeply with others who are willing to be open and honest.

sounds: Fono: "Burn"
connecting: ,

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Comments
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sidheblessed ══╣╠══
I started my LJ because my bestfriend Tali had migrated here from another site and I wanted to keep up to date as easily as we had been.

I keep it because I've made some amazing friends and have found a sanctuary where I can truly be myself.
belenen ══╣loving╠══
awesome. And can I just say that I think you seem to be growing so much more open lately and I love it! You are wonderful. ♥
sidheblessed ══╣╠══
belenen ══╣╠══
bluebl00d ══╣╠══
A friend of mine introduced me to online journals, we both got an account at another website, then came to livejournal, she thought writing what I was feeling would take some edge off my shoulders. So I first started my lj to release some of the build up anger I've been accumulating. Also she liked my sense of humor and my movie reviews and thought others might enjoy them as well.

Now I keep it because, it's become a huge part of my life. Everything I feel, no matter how dark they are, my feelings are being written down in my journal. Being able to communicate with people from all four corners of the world is something wonderful. I've made great friends, amazing friends even, people I have a deeper connection than with those I have in real life. Best of all if it weren't for LJ, I would have never met the person who makes me so happy, and that would be the woman I'm deeply in love with.

I've grown attached to my journal, not only is it a place where I write down my emotions but also a place where I share with my friends, either it's movies, music, pictures, ideas, etc
belenen ══╣vivacious╠══
I'm glad you came to LJ. ;-) Thanks for sharing!
kabandra ══╣╠══
belenen ══╣shimmering╠══
Awesome, I'm glad you're proud of your journal. For some reason that really struck a chord with me as being a powerful thing. So brava to you! ;-)
synisterchyck ══╣╠══
How well do you think you have accomplished your goal of being transparent?
belenen ══╣honesty╠══
hmmm... well, I don't really know how to answer that! My goal was to be in process, I suppose, so it is completely met in that sense -- and I am far more open and honest and confident in who I am than I was before my journal (due partly to my journal and partly to other things).

Lately I have been rather dissatisfied with my writings -- I've noted that I've been more ranty, which is kinda a good thing since I had been surpressing that, but also a negative thing in that it's not really constructive.

So, to sum up: I'm not sure, but I can estimate it at 'pretty well.'
eternitywaiting ══╣╠══
Another weird similarity - I started my LJ for pretty much the exact same reasons. Initially I wanted a way to stay in touch with my friends (like beeeckie who's so hard to talk to offline. But then it became a mission to learn to love myself and my own views, and not be ashamed of them or try to hide them. I really hate that I had to go friends-only (because it sort of hurts one of my original goals) but I just couldn't deal with being cyber-stalked by people from my "old life." I'd still be perfectly willing to be honest with those people, but I spent enough years fueling their rumor mill, and I just didn't feel it was my job to continue doing so.

And I really felt like I've succeeded pretty damn well on the last part you mention... :-)
eternitywaiting ══╣╠══
(I added Ben by the way. :-P)
belenen ══╣╠══
belenen ══╣╠══
kevloid ══╣╠══
I started my lj because I was just getting over a couple of girls, and needed a place to get my thoughts out. for various reasons there was really nobody to talk to about it so this was another option. I dunno how much I actually did that, but it did get my mind off things somewhat and it helped.

I've kept the lj going because it's my place to vent about my day or put down odd momentary thoughts. and there's a sense of community here - I crave that and I don't really have that too much in real life. plus I can say whatever I want and people don't get all pissy. :-) it's also my closest thing to newspapers or magazines - I don't read them but instead I log on here and see what's goin on with people I actually care about. likewise it's my magazine that I produce, and it's cool to know 50 or so people chose to subscribe to it.

I think that's it. hungry now, must go.
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
huh! Not what I'd have thought. Dunno what I'd have thought, but never that.

Thanks for sharing. ;-)
kevloid ══╣╠══
yeah I'm gonna add ben too, btw.

the computer geek thing sold me. :-)
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
he added ya back. ;-)
writer_lilies ══╣╠══
I used blogger at first. It messed up. I switched to livejournal because I thought the mood icons were cute. This was before you needed a code too. Anyway, I always have something to say. I write a lot better than I speak, so instead of voicing my opinions, I write them down. It's been a good time and while I have improved slightly with speaking, I'd still rather write than talk. Aside from that the online me and the real life me are the same person.
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
I can tell that you're a very forthright person. I like that about you.
abstractfish ══╣╠══
I like reading your journal because it gives me insight into myself. you're one of a kind, and you prove that with each entry.

rock on m'dear.
belenen ══╣vivacious╠══
aww, thank you! ;-)

Rock on I shall!
paravati ══╣╠══
I like reading your journal. And I try to be as open and honest myself, as I can be. Even when I end up sounding like a crappy whiner of a person.

Honesty rules. Keep it up, girl.
belenen ══╣shimmering╠══
You too! And please keep me as a friend even though I haven't commented yet -- I'm so far behind but when I catch up I'm sure I will start commenting more. Just to let you know that you aren't being ignored! ;-)
lorelei_sakti ══╣╠══
Why I started my LJ: to get in touch with someone who got angry with me two years ago and ended our friendship.

Why I continue LJ: shortly after starting LJ, I decided not to get in touch with my old friend. I realized that we didn't have much in common, and our friendship probably wasn't that strong to begin with. However, I continue LJ because there are so many interesting people and communities here. Plus, it is easy--and fun--to express myself here on LJ.
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
coo'! Thanks for sharing. ;-)
johnnyinamerica ══╣greyliner╠══

I started on xanga about three years ago, just for kicks. I stayed there for about a year or so. I wanted a livejournal, but that was back when you needed a code to make one, and I didn't know anyone who had one. Once they switched back their no-code format, a friend told me, and I switched to lj.

I got hooked because of the communities, and because livejournal seems to have more of a sense of community and communication in general. It has so many better features than xanga.

I use it mainly to keep in touch with people, and to play around and participate in the communities. My real stress reliever - the place where I really write about my feelings and real thoughts, etc - still exists in a written journal.
belenen ══╣curious╠══
What makes you prefer a written journal, may I ask?
euterpe ══╣Bjork - Beautiful by moviefangirl╠══
I got my journal at first because I stumbled across one and I thought it was really neat. It started out as just fun, (which it still is!) but then it ended up becoming an outlet for me and much more important. It's become a catalog of my life. A chance for me to be able to look back and see patterns in behavior, and to see how far I've come or how far I've yet to go.

I see all of these people who jump from journal to journal. Constantly changing, and I don't see how they can do that. I've had this journal for at least four years, and I could never abandon it, no matter how much the things I wrote back in 2001 may not reflect who I am now. They are a part of me and my journey and have ultimately shaped who I've become today.
belenen ══╣shimmering╠══
I see all of these people who jump from journal to journal. Constantly changing, and I don't see how they can do that. I've had this journal for at least four years, and I could never abandon it, no matter how much the things I wrote back in 2001 may not reflect who I am now. They are a part of me and my journey and have ultimately shaped who I've become today.

I completely agree with that -- I don't understand how they can do it either. I think it has to do with either running from your past or embracing it as part of you. I prefer to embrace. ;-)
paravati ══╣╠══
I see I missed the "Why I began LJ" part..

I started because I wanted to try and make one of those witty, funny journals where every entry was about something important or ridiculous and the way I wrote it would maybe make people laugh, or something.

I think I've written some funny entries like that, but over the 8 months or so that I've been writing, my journal has become something more personal. It's become about my LIFE, not just specific things in it that I found funny or disturbing.

My mother is terminally ill, and I've found that writing in this journal gives me an outlet for all the pain and messiness of that whole situation. I've made some really valuable friends here, and really enjoy reading about other people's lives and leaving comments.

This journal has become one of my favorite "me" time things.

Thanks to all of you who write, and those of you who just read.
belenen ══╣gentle╠══
Thanks for sharing...

I'm sorry about your mother, that must be very hard. I can't even imagine -- but I'm glad you've found an outlet for your feelings about it. I think that makes healing much faster.
ace_44 ══╣╠══
Hmm, I actually had a journal at diaryland first which I think my best friend got me hooked on. After a while, I started one on Livejournal due to a recommendation from another friend and just wound up sticking with it here instead. It's much nicer then diaryland that's for sure :)

I still write here because it's a good way for me to remember my past. I still go back to my old username and go through old entries there from time to time and often find myself remembering things that I normally would have forgotten. I don't want to miss anything about my past anymore :)
belenen ══╣honesty╠══
I'm the same way -- I love to read through my old journals. All of that was me, at one time, and it's all still a part of me, however much I may have grown. I love seeing how far I've come, also.
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on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.