September 2017
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pulling within and spinning as a wheel in my own center


I want to pull myself within and feed off of my own strength. Like I used to, be with myself more than be myself, watch myself from the outside and feel completely understood and supported and feel that burning desire to GO, to never stop, to flow like lava toward... I know not what. To turn like a wheel within myself, to feel my every fluctuation of sense. To pour all of my energies into my own self, until I am full and glowing with my own power.

What is that? Is that disassociation? If so, no wonder I can't break through. Who would want to give that up?

But I know I can't be that unless I separate from everyone else, and I don't want to do that either -- but the pull is so strong that I'm actually tempted.
sounds: Massive Attack: "Group Four"


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free2be ══╣╠══
belenen ══╣shimmering╠══
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.