May 2017
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misunderstandings
Can I ask my friends a favor?

If I write/say something that seems unbalanced/dumb/irrational/selfish/negative/etc., please give me the benefit of the doubt and assume that I wasn't clear enough and you misunderstood me. Even if it's just saying, "It seems to me like you are saying _____, and if that is what you meant then I think _______." But please don't just assume that I mean something that you find glaringly wrong. Compare it to my history, think about the type of person I am.

I can't STAND being misunderstood. I'd rather people know an unflattering truth about me than believe a flattering falsehood. And of course I hate when people think something negative about me that isn't true. And even if it seems obvious that I am saying "opinion1," I may in fact be clumsily saying "opinion2."


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Comments
Of course. ^_^
I think that we have something in common when it comes to hating misunderstandings.

I always seem to be saying opinion1 when I am also clumsily saying opinion2, heh.

I hope that I didnt say anything to you at all that gave the wrong impression.

Now im a bit paranoid about that last comment I left you...eek.
belenen garrulous
don't worry, this wasn't about your comment at all! ;-)
i go into VERY lenghty explainations when I am missunderstood because I hate it so much...so I understand where you are coming form.
belenen garrulous
*nods*
I feel exactly the same way.
i agree, i hate it when people do the same thing to me..
LJs are tough that way, I've found. You don't really know a person from the words they write, no matter how good they might be at writing them. What's missed are nuances, flashes of the eye, warmth, a pause which indicates "...and there's a punch line coming..."

I'm sure that if someone went through all 630 entries I've put in, they'd find a lot of contradictory shit. Sometimes, the stuff doesn't even make sense to *me*...which makes me feel that much more angry that someone else dips their fingers in and says airily, "Oh, you meant *this*."

Sometimes they're dead-on - it's the second pair of eyes that a friend can be - but sometimes all they do is piss me off, and sometimes I can tell they're trying to.
belenen wicked
Yeah... with me it mostly bothers me that people assume I hold an opinion that THEY consider to be stupid/selfish/narrow-minded/arrogant/etc. WHY? Why not assume that they misunderstood me because a person they respect probably wouldn't hold an opinion so negative? Why assume the negative instead of the positive? ugh.

If they were trying to, it wouldn't bother me so much -- it's that they just assume negative about me that bothers me.
That's why I'm so closed in my journal--I'm not always clear and articulate about my opinions, and it's hard to have a meaningful dialogue online.

"Seek first to understand, then to be understood."
belenen garrulous
*nods*
I agree. I haven't read anything from you that I think I misunderstand...

but anywho, as a politics major, I hate it when people twist my words. It's one of my pet peeves. People can ask me about my words all they want but to assume something... grrrr...
Especially when people add key words to my words such as "not" or "no"... or eliminate such words.

Peace :)
belenen upset
omg, eliminating or adding key words??? That's even worse! I've never had that happen, at least not here on LJ. good grief!
I hate misunderstandings as well.
belenen garrulous
*nods*
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.