December 2017
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31


changed mindset -- ask and you will recieve / move to Glasgow? / love of learning


I feel so full of love and positivity. Life is good. I am noticing small changes in myself that I love. Earlier, it was 10:58 and we were driving to the video store when I realized we weren't going to make it on time, and rather than giving up as would have been previously natural for me, I decided to take a page from maladroitkat's book and ASK for what I want. (M-Kat is living embodiment of the phrase, "Ask and ye shall receive.") Unfortunately Ben accidentally dropped the phone under his seat so I wasn't able to make the call, but I was actually going to ask them to stay open 5 minutes later. After all, it is no inconvenience to them for me to ASK, and they get to make the decision on whether they are willing to accept the inconvenience of actually doing it. I was so proud of myself for even making that mental step. Often I forget that rules are run by people, who may be generous if given the opportunity (though they are often pissy if the gift is taken rather than asked for).

I really really really want to move to Glasgow. Not because I don't love it here because I DO, Georgia is in my blood, but because Kate and my soulfriend Hannah go to Glasgow Uni (or will soon, anyway) and it has a good philosophy program and I thirst for a REAL college. I could easily go to a university here for free or near to it, but I don't want to go to college for a diploma, I want to go to LEARN. I think this is an alien concept nowadays. And the University of Pittsburgh gave me a taste of what it is like to be awed by the knowledge of your professor, to listen to them and feel your mind expanding (and it was also very flattering to learn that I had been talked about between my two favorite professors, heh heh). It was so wonderful to have mind-stimulating conversations with people who know so much more than I. I took Latin American Literature instead of a foreign language, expecting to be bored, and discovered Julio Cortazar, the best writer I have ever sampled. I am still awed by the incredible depth and saturation of his metaphor. I really really enjoyed writing essays on his work -- how often does it happen that you ENJOY writing essays? But the book went completely over the head of the other students -- they preferred One Hundred Years of Solitude which was exactly how it sounds. After you are finished reading it, you feel as if no relationship is ever real and everyone lives in an impenetrable bubble and you might as well kill yourself because you're slowly dying anyway and nobody's gonna care and you cannot make any mark on the world. But the other students liked it BETTER than Hopscotch because it was more literal (even the magical realism of OHYoS was far too simple to be of any special note to a fantasy reader). Bah.

I really love learning. I hated math because of the constant review -- while I see that it was necessary, I infinitely prefer to learn something new every day. I get envious when I hear others talk about things they heard in a philosophy/sociology/psychology/culture/literature class, because I want to learn that stuff and roll it through my mind and decide what parts I agree with or disagree with or am confused/curious about. I want to understand more about people. I want to take a class on every major (population-wise) culture of today. I want to develop new ways of expressing myself through words. I want to be inspired to write poetry again. I want to take art classes! I am so curious.

And I have decided that I want to at least try following this dream. I want to talk to Ben, see what he feels about possibly moving to another country, pray about it, apply to the college (eek!), look into scholarships, and see if it is feasable. Who knows? I won't unless I do something. Knock and the door will be opened, right?


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Comments
paradigm_shift ══╣╠══
I am so glad you are going to look into pursuing your dream! That is so awesome! I hope your talk with Ben is well received.
belenen ══╣amused╠══
He has been thinking on it. ;-) It takes him a while to get used to ideas of radical change.
paradigm_shift ══╣╠══
Same thing with my husband. Sometime he surprises me though.
lorelei_sakti ══╣kitty pryde╠══
Where is Glasgow? It sounds like some city in Poland or Russia.

It's so great that you want to learn. Most people that go to college just want to get a degree to get a job. I personally love learning about philosophy and sociology and culture. Even psychology. Literature, not so much, but to each her own.

I hope you get to follow your dream! We have to do these things while we're young and able to change the paths we're on.
belenen ══╣analytical╠══
it's in Scotland. I tell you what, you and I would have some FASCINATING conversations. We so need to meet for coffee and conversation someday!
lorelei_sakti ══╣╠══
Yeah, that would be great! I would seriously consider coming down to see you when I get a vacation from work. (I don't have a job yet, but when I do, then I'll have vacation time and money.)
belenen ══╣vivacious╠══
eee! I would love that! ;-)
invisibleglue ══╣Me by Belenen╠══
Glasgow? SCOTLAND?????? Please tell me it is! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE? I'm going to the University of Edinburgh in September for 4 years! It's like 20 minutes away from Glasgow, am I right? WOOOOOOOOOOW!
misemifein2 ══╣╠══
Glasgow and Edinburgh about an hours distance on the train, so they are pretty close :) Rival cities.
belenen ══╣transfixed╠══
yes, heh, it is Scotland. I reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally want to go. *is hoping/praying daily*
synisterchyck ══╣╠══
I hate math because of all the numbers...

On the sixth of May I'm jsut having an open house meet the baby bonfire thing... I'd love it if you could come out here and visit.
belenen ══╣curious╠══
I really wanted to go! I'm so sad that I missed it. and hey! I need your address, can you enter it here, please?
meganlynnangela ══╣╠══
i just wanted to say...i think it's beautiful that you like learning just for the sake of learning. i'm a sociology major and i'm to the point now where all my classes are sociology...they're hard, upper division courses, but i enjoy them, because it's a great subject matter and i enjoy learning. that's one thing i don't like about my university (even though i generally love it), you have to jump through all these hoops (called bacc core) where you take a bunch of classes you don't give a crap about. *sigh*
belenen ══╣analytical╠══
yeah, here they're referred to as 'core classes' and oh the dullness. But some were suprisingly interesting (such as public speaking) though I wouldn't have chosen them, so I suppose there is something to be said for a 'well-rounded education.' ;-)
kmiotutsie ══╣╠══
i'm in a similar boat about wanting to learn-- college is so expensive!! i'm just taking lots of dance classes and stuff now; learning exactly what i want to, and outside of the college setting (but conviniently in a college town!! hehe) i'm looking in to art classes next (always so much fun!) but i'm worried those are going to be too expensive.
belenen ══╣inspired╠══
ooooooooohhhhhh you have my dream life! *envies* no, really I have my dream life, but you have the life I USED to dream about. ;-) I want to take random fun classes!
kmiotutsie ══╣╠══
yeah, i haven't had the *time* for anything lately, and for the past few months it's just been yoga and the occasional poi... for now i have to work for a while and rebuild a kind of financial base from which to launch myself :-/ but i'll start learning in a formal setting again sometime; of this i am sure
juansrx ══╣lem1╠══
You are on my side!!:

*always learning
*always fighting
*alwais trying to be the best
*but overall...

ALWAYS lEARNING!!
belenen ══╣amused╠══
woo!
scream_baby ══╣╠══
belenen ══╣console╠══
*hugs back* missing you too Venus-girl. ♥ where has your heart been, oh V?
maladroitkat ══╣╠══
Bel, I'm so happy that you were going to ask the video store to stay open later for you! Really, most people are happy to oblige small requests, and besides, it never hurts to ask, regardless.

What would you go to college for?

Good luck with everything, Bel!
belenen ══╣progressing╠══
I feel like I learned a Major Life Lesson from you, really really. That philosophy of yours has changed my view of the world -- everything seems so much more accessible now, I love it. Thank you for that! ♥

I would go to college for psychology. I loooove learning (theories on) why people do what they do.
sidheblessed ══╣╠══
First of al, I am really happy to hear that you're changing your attitude. Well done!

I really love learning. I hated math because of the constant review -- while I see that it was necessary, I infinitely prefer to learn something new every day. I get envious when I hear others talk about things they heard in a philosophy/sociology/psychology/culture/literature class, because I want to learn that stuff

I could have written that paragraph. When I graduate Uni and ave had some time off, I fully intend to study some kind of philosophy course just for the sake fo learning. I feel so jealous of allthe amazing subjects my friends are studying and I jst want to experiencelearnig for learning's sake again.
belenen ══╣intrigued╠══
♥ I can't wait to read your thoughts when you do get to study some philosophy!
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.