September 2017
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stop speaking in double negatives or I'll add one and make you very negative, dammit!


I can't stand it when people speak in double negatives just to avoid using a positive. And as a cashier, I have to swallow my snippy retort about 20 times a day.
I ask "How's your day been?" and what do I get?
"Not bad." "Can't complain." "I've had worse days." "Not too terrible."
and then sometimes I do get so irritated that I say (in a lighthearted tone of course), "So it's just been sorta terrible?" or "So if it's not bad, that would make it good, right?"
If you've had a bad day, admit it! If you've had a pretty good day, why denigrate it with two negative words instead of one positive? I promise I'm not going to think less of you for almost, sorta-kinda, half-way enjoying life!!!!! It's like we're in such a habit of negativity that positivity is too personal, we have to keep it locked up tight so it doesn't accidentally spread to others, oh no!

I don't have a problem with people being honest when they feel bad. It's the obviously happy (or at least peaceful) people who can't be arsed to speak a positive word even though they feel positive that irritates me. SHARE!

I really think it's mainly due to the media always focusing on the negative. It's become such a part of our culture that we can only understand positivity as LACK of NEGATIVITY. And how can you focus on lack of something? Every ad tells you, "you have this negative, we can take it away" -- whether that supposed negative is too much or too little of something doesn't matter, it's all the same. Every news article is about something negative, usually sensationalized far beyond truth, because truth doesn't sell, shock does. Which is why we need to throw away our TVs and stop buying magazines and learn to think for ourselves, dammit. Learn that positivity is at least as much of a force as negativity, and that we can seek it, and we can focus on it. And that when we share it, it GROWS instead of lessening.

AND let me apply that to body image. Don't say, "even though I don't look like a 'supermodel', I am beautiful" -- the qualifier implies that you are a lesser kind of beautiful. Just say, "I am beautiful." Don't say, "this quality doesn't mean that I'm unattractive" -- say "I am attractive, partially BECAUSE of this quality." My breasts are teardrop shaped, and I like them that way! in fact, I prefer their shape to the baseball shape featured in magazines. My belly is rounded -- again, I prefer it. I like the soft femininity of it. My hips are curvy, my legs are muscular and thick. I'm not beautiful in spite of these qualities, I am beautiful BECAUSE of them.
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on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.