December 2017
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depressed stressed lonely worried frustrated

got unfriended by someone I really care about; am pretty sure that a different (both RL & LJ) friend is offended/hurt by something about me that I refuse to change (worried how that will turn out); am irritated/offended with a different friend, feel unimportant to one of the most important people in my life; feel sad and lonely because hannah is internetless and away from home so I can't even call her (and haven't talked to her in ELEVEN DAYS); am stressed about finances; stressed about work; stressed about Ben being stressed; lonely because I get so little time with Ben... feel unable to write more about the trip because I neeeeeeeeed to process with hannah... miss hannah sooooooo much. Miss cuddles and endless talking and never being alone, going to bed with a snuggly person. Miss craziness and laughter and closeness.

And I also miss the freedom of making my own schedule. I hate having my life ordered by someone else. I feel like I never have enough time for anything -- when I really do have the time, but I simply cannot be productive if I have a deadline, unless I set the deadline myself for my own pleasure. I've gobbled up like six thick books since she left 13 days ago -- as well as renaming most of the 6,000+ photos from the trip and playing with iconmaking... my mind is afraid to relax.

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Comments
_paroxysm_ ══╣╠══
I don't really know what to say but *hug* (=
armandii ══╣╠══
Hugs from me too Bel xxx
ex_alariya46 ══╣╠══
I love you. And I'll be happy to talk with you and hold you if you need me.
jumpinglegacy ══╣╠══
I am so sorry things are hard for you right now, bel. That must be pretty rough. You were so lucky to have Hannah come visit you... she's a really special young woman, and so are you :) I've bee patiently waiting to see some of those pictures from your visit together. *Hugs*, and I hope you feel better soon!
katielilie ══╣╠══
*hugs* I hope you feel better soon.
acid_burns ══╣loving annabelle / stand up simone╠══
*hugsyou*
meganlynnangela ══╣╠══
*prayers*
folkchick3 ══╣╠══
The hard thing about a wonderful experience (with a wonderful friend) is that after it has finished you miss them terribly. Then things in your life that are hard seem even harder. I am sorry you are having such a rough time... I hope that it helps a little to know that you are in the thoughts and hearts of everyone here.
kevloid2006 ══╣╠══
aw that sucks. :-/

don't let the stress mess with you.
dragon_pet ══╣╠══
*hugs*
Not much.... but I know stress and depression, so stay strong, no matter what.
aubkabob ══╣╠══
i'm sorry that i've been absent as of late. i think of you often and talk about you much.

i'm sorry that you're so stressed, too. i'm feeling very.. odd and frantic lately and can't put a finger on what i'm feeling or why.
sidheblessed ══╣╠══
*hugs*
lorelei_sakti ══╣yuna╠══
You have my support. ::hugs::
darkpool ══╣╠══
Awww. I hope that you are able to clear the air with your friends...
whispersofsilk ══╣42╠══
*huggles* love ya hunneh!
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.