July 2017
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worry about going to my dad's military promotion


So Ben and I are taking a road trip on Sunday.  To Quantico, VA, to witness my dad's promotion to Master Sargeant (however you spell that, it never looks right).  We love road trips, but...  I'm breaking my committment to take William to school (and I still haven't called Spencer 'cause I'm putting it off hoping Ben will do it 'cause I don't want to talk to anyone over there 'cause I'm scared that Paula is mad at me or that Spencer will be disappointed/irritated when he finds out he has two days to find a ride for William.  Dayum.) ...

...and, far worse, missing my counseling session on Monday.  I have been just kinda existing until the next one comes around, and now I'm going to miss it...  I'm scared because my spirit is so fragile right now and I know brushing with my biofamily is going to tax it, and not knowing how to take care of it is dangerous.  It's exhausted and starved (I slept the whole day after it was freed, and much of the next day) and I don't know how to refresh it.  So I've been praying a lot, and reading my bible a lot (it's interesting to me again, which is a wonderful thing).

But this is incredibly important to my dad and if I don't want to completely cut ties with them then we must do it.  Seriously, my dad has been so excited and happy about us coming up -- it's just crazy.  Like he stopped threatening and started asking and found that it worked.

feelings: scared


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jedibubbles ══╣╠══
belenen ══╣glowing╠══
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.