July 2017
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is this alive enough?


Well, did I already say that the BenGate forum is up again? I'm glad of that. I'm Waterstar there, in case you care.

Recentish updates to authors, people, waterstar, and my art. I'm trying to come up with a decent front design for my Cationes page... I think I'm gonna end up drawing a map of my world and then having the water-bodies lead to various infos, and the countries just lead to info on themselves. So I have to work the map into the right size, draw it all proportional, and then, oh then, I get to play with it in PHOTOSHOP!!!!!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!!! (try saying that, it sounds like a hyper stutter)

Pastor John talked about the difference between judging and discerning tonight. I kept thinking about my dad, both because I know I have judged him and want to stop, and because I know that if he heard this sermon and put it to use in his life, he'd have such a better life. But I don't know if I should try giving him the tape, bk for one thing I think it might be a waste of 2 dollars (I'm only 45% sure he'd read it) and for another, I think he might take it as me preaching at him and resent the teaching for that reason alone. I don't know. I did learn that I did the right thing by backing off from my parents, that I'm not wrong in being detached to them. I have been emotionally detached concerning them since I was about eight, so for about 12 years they haven't really been a part of my life. They discovered that less than 2 years ago, and didn't understand. And I couldn't explain, but now I know. I've always been in love with God, even if at times it was deep inside, and because of that, their judging affected me even when it wasn't directed toward me. And judging is an addiction. Pastor John confirmed that tonight.

Pastor John was excited about Nimajn and I getting married December 13th. I don't know what kind of reaction I expected, maybe a slightly-disappointed-but-resigned one, but he was excited! He respects me, which feels odd to me when I remember. Actually, he was the one that prophesied that God wanted me to not be afraid of people of great consequence, but stand up for God and tell them to get behind me and support me. I think he respects Nimajn too, but he doesn't know Nimajn as well. I go up to him and have mini-converstations a lot. ;-) My pastor is so awesome. I'm so grateful for him. Wow I have a charmed life. I realize every now and then that three years ago I would have been so envious of me now. I have:

the perfect spiritual parents
the perfect husband (fiance, whatever)
the perfect friends --insanity cubed and honorary members therein
the perfect church
the perfect room --purple, w/ pictures, posters, & calendar pieces
the perfect bathroom and a giant closet
the perfect car with great gas mileage and bumper stickers and the cutest eyes
the perfect stereo --silver, with lights that change color
hundreds of dollars worth of beads and beading supplies
my own websites
a jewelry business
a beautiful body (slowly I begin to believe)
three feet of beautiful hair

(garnier fructis is all I use now, that stuff is miraculous!!! Believe the ads, they UNDERSTATE the case!! I have three feet of curly, coarse, think hair, and when I use garnier, my hair is at least 10 times easier to brush, is softer, more moisturized -- and that's just the shampoo! I bought the conditioner yesterday, and plan to test it soon. Can you believe that with garnier I can go without conditioner and my hair will STILL be managable???? And while I'm on the subject, the only worthwhile leave-in is Infusium. Believe those ads too.)

I took their hair quiz... apparently, according to my hair, my ideal jobs are:
Air Traffic Controller, CIA Agent, TV Producer
Okay, enough ranting about hair products.

OH MY GOSH I am so blessed.
feelings: happy
connecting: , , ,


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Comments
jedibubbles ══╣╠══
spinninghead ══╣╠══
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.