December 2017
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"Fat Girl" haiku / we women need to see ourselves as beautiful


Fat Girl

She carries her chains
inside her skin; if ignored,
their weight she can bear.

My dad used to make fun of me when I was going through puberty. I was never obese – maybe five pounds overweight at the most – but I had an awkward body for a while. I would tell him that it hurt me and ask him to stop, but he thought it was hilarious. (and he liked finding a place where I was vulnerable, because my inner strength has always intimidated him) Since I went through that, I have never been able to be satisfied with my body, especially my belly, because that was what he mocked the most. It doesn't matter that my weight is perfect for my body – it only matters that my belly sticks out too much.

Now, I feel for overweight women so much that sometimes it makes me cry. Many, many, many times since puberty I have seen an overweight woman and earnestly prayed that God would make her an attractive weight. Woman has a built-in love for beauty; it is agonizing pain for her to live every day unable to find beauty in herself – to live every day with the acute knowledge that her culture says she is worthless. I find myself shying away from overweight women because their pain is so powerful I can't help feeling it.

feelings: vulnerable
connecting:

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Comments
evileve ══╣╠══
"Woman has a built-in love for beauty; it is agonizing pain for her to live every day unable to find beauty in herself – to live every day with the acute knowledge that her culture says she is worthless."

exactly.
jedibubbles ══╣╠══
*huggles her Bel and tells her repeatedly and truthfully that she is beautiful*

*smacks Bel's dad HARD for being such an asshole to his gorgeous daughter and berates him for said verbal abuse*

*glowers at the media yet again for emphasizing thin!thin!thin! when healthy is really all that matters for attractiveness*
belenen ══╣intense╠══
*smile*

Thanks for the huggles. (and compliments) But what inspired me to write that was not my own pain; there are just so many who don't have wonderful friends or a man who tells them every day and in his every movement that she is beautiful. I hurt for them.
theanonymousx ══╣╠══
hmmm
Your belly sticks out??? Jeez, if you consider that as being a large stomach what the heck is this thing attached to me? As an example, I turned around in the grocery store yesterday and knocked over a wall of paper towels, a clerk, and a large angry dude named Slicer.
Anywho, perk up! Whenever I get down about my stomach size I just realize that it doubles as a floation device and bulletproof sheild. Why, just last week I stopped a missle with it.
belenen ══╣teasing╠══
Re: hmmm
LOL
(Anonymous) ══╣╠══
OK, OK... You too, lol!!!
But ya! It is sad! We are each made the way we were intended, though. But trust me! You are in no way fat or anything close. I don't think your stomach sticks out, but as one that is not that observant about such things, I guess you would know better than I. I think you are beautiful, and apparently Ben shares my good taste ;) , lol. I know too many girls that have thought themselves fat or overweight, and I have suffered such an opinion about myself as well, when in truth, we just don't fit the super model image. Sad, sad world to allow so many to feel entirely worthless.
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.