July 2017
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rant on penis image and male self-worth


Our fucked-up society tells men that their worth is in their penises in the same way that it tells women their worth is in how closely they match the 'ideal'. Every time I hear of it, it makes me more angry and disgusted. A man has just as much worth if his penis is small or thin or has never been in a vagina or doesn't get hard or gets soft again quickly or is surgically constructed or doesn't exist! A man doesn't need a penis to be himself! I was watching a Scrubs episode lately where J.D. has an occurrence of impotence, and I was appalled and infuriated by the way the others treated him -- with pity and contempt. And he only regained his feelings of self-worth when he was once again able to get an erection. What the hell? Does no one realize how fucking sick it is to have your self-worth be entirely dependent upon a body part?

Also, the myth that women want a man with a giant penis -- what a pile of shit! First of all, most women get most pleasure from clitoral stimulation, not penetration, and secondly, the vagina is a very elastic organ, and changes diameter to suit the occasion. The 'need' for a larger penis stems from a desire to have power (which is trained in by society -- it is not natural for a person to desire power over another).

And don't even give me that crap that it's some altruistic desire to 'please a woman' -- a penis is definitely not necessary for that. That phrase is a self-righteous euphemism. If a man wants to please a woman, he can do it regardless of the size or performance of his penis. Society says that a man's worth lies in how much he can do with his penis (and in whom he chooses to use it with); it's about who he can 'conquer' with it. That's bullshit! True sex is not about conquering, it is about mutual giving. There should be no pride and no shame associated with the penis -- it's JUST A BODY PART.

If society could teach little boys that the penis is merely a body part and has nothing to do with who they truly are (not to be ashamed of OR proud of), maybe men would be less obsessed with proving their worth through sex. And they'd be able to treat women with more respect because they wouldn't 'need' to use a woman to be who they are. And they could take pride in what matters -- being a person, being their true self -- rather than a body part which they cannot change, and shouldn't want to change.


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on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.