October 2017
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worry & missing Hannah / made jewelry a few days ago / gypsy spirit


augh! I've been feeling so crappy the past few days :-( I'm really worried about whether or not Hannah will be able to come over when I want her to. She has to do some stuff to get her passport renewed, which takes time, and I want to hurry up and get tickets, but not until I know she'll be able to use them! argh! I miss her so damn much, it's been 9 months since I have seen her, my soulfriend. I want her here SOON, I don't want to wait! There are so many wonderful things I have planned for us to do together. So everyone please, please, PLEASE pray or send positive energy or good thoughts, so that she will be able to get everything in order in time for us to get affordable tickets to get her here June 13th.

I miss my Firekat too, it was so wonderful having her here... and I miss 'Kenzy and Meliae, who haven't been on to chat in ages (enough that I am starting to worry!) and I miss SabR and Kazi and and and... :-(

I made a necklace/earring set the other day (before this nasty lethargy set in) but I don't have the motivation to photograph it, so poo.

random thing I said in a community today: I live in a world that does not allow many to create a 'true' gypsy lifestyle, but that does not mean I am not a gypsy. I am a gypsy who has been separated from my scattered tribe and trapped in a disconnected, money-driven world, where my creations and innovation are not enough to feed and clothe me (without also tying me down). I don't know my bloodline, and I might live in the same place for a while, but my heart is eternally wandering, free, wild, not recognizing 'ownership' of things and land and people, not recognizing borders, refusing to be pinned to one way of living. And it is my heart that defines me. One day I hope to have my outer life match my inner, but even if that never happens, I will always be a gypsy. (I feel like saving this and turning it into a real post, but I do that too much, which is why I have a whole pile of incomplete posts. Instead I will share it in its raw form)

I need cuddles :-(

sounds: alias & tarsier: "Nocturnal Eye" (on pandora)
connecting: , , , ,

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Comments
acid_burns ══╣meredith grey / piece of my heart╠══
but my heart is eternally wandering, free, wild, not recognizing 'ownership' of things and land and people



This is the very most beautiful thing I have heard.


*cuddles* ♥
belenen ══╣gentle╠══
*cuddles back* thank you lovey ♥
darkpool ══╣╠══
Awww, *hugs*
belenen ══╣gentle╠══
*hugs back*
thiswaste ══╣╠══
*hugs*

Listen- I would love to get to know you a little better. Do you use MSN for chatting? Or gmail talk?
belenen ══╣gentle╠══
*hugs back*

aww, I'm touched! ♥ I use google talk, don't like other chat programs really. same screenname ;-)
clown_frog ══╣╠══
Hey you, sorry I've not been around commenting on all your lovely posts (wonderful photos!), I'm right in the middle of exams, very stressful exams. But sad people need lots of comments, so I'm commenting on this one.

I don't know about passports and stuff, but I'm sure you'll see Hannah sometime this summer! And I'll hope for you that she can come when you are wanting it (13th? 13 is a lucky number, is it not? For certain unusual people).

Sad for missing people, but I'm sure they'll turn up, to chat to if nothing else! People have a habit of doing that. And find motivation for photo'ing jewellery, I want to see it!

Gypsy thing, made me giggle when you said "not recognising 'ownership' of things and land": thats the main complaint my farmer uncle makes about the gypsies. Unfortunately their creations and innovation are not enough to feed and clothe them, so they innovatively steal from the farmers instead. Problem with the world rather than the concept though, I don't mean to disrespect your wanderlusting ways!! I like your idea of the meaning of gypsy better than the real ones I hear of, anyway. It is unfortunate that the world order constrains us so much.

Anyway! I do hope you feel better soon. Lethargy probably natural after excitement leading up and during Kat-visit. It should pass :-)

And e-cuddles, though they aren't the same;

*cuddles*
belenen ══╣gentle╠══
thank you so much Kate-love! *hug hug*

*giggles* I will have to make an in-depth gypsy post sometime ;-)

*cuddles back*
woah_the_kettle ══╣╠══
*cuddles* It might be the planets making you feel so out of it. I've been feeling weird lately as well.
belenen ══╣gentle╠══
*cuddles back*
smurfb1ue ══╣we're friends finally╠══
Your definition of your gypsy spirit is so lovely and so relatable. So often dreams meant to free you only tie you down in different ways. I have so many dreams that require me to stand still for awhile. People sometimes think the gypsy spirit is a lifestyle that looks exactly the same for everyone when in reality it's also a mindset, a way of thinking and living it out.

Your raw thoughts are wonderful. So often I find myself editing my thoughts, or never even sharing them, because I want to share my thoughts elequently instead of the way they come out originally. Maybe you should just post all your incomplete posts as one...sometimes other people can help you make sense of thoughts.

& I'm praying that you and Hannah can see each other soon. It's so hard to be separated from someone who is such an integral part of you. Do you think that you and Ben and Hannah will one day be able to live near(er) one another?
belenen ══╣wanderlust╠══
I'm glad you understand about the gypsy spirit *hugs*

I just don't like sharing raw thoughts as much in this medium, because then people tend to misunderstand, or I don't express clearly, and then it is a tedious process of untangling ideas. But I agree that I shouldn't let it block me as much as I do. ;-)

thank you so much for your prayers on that, they mean sooooo much to me! And yes, that is a plan of ours, sometime next year or the year after hopefully. We see it as a need, a major goal of our lives, to live in the same house/apartment or at leeeeeeeeast next door. ♥
earthy_goddess ══╣belly love╠══
I miss you too! I haven't been online to chat because I have been *extremely* stressed with school. I am sorry. I just haven't been able to take my mind off of my papers. I turn them in on Monday!!! I still have one more to write and major revising on the others. After Monday I will be in a much better state.

I am sending much positivity to you and hoping all will work out with Hannah's visit. I know it somehow will. I wish I could be there to support you. I absolutely can not wait to connect with you! I am sad you are not feeling well. Keep taking care of yourself.

It was interesting to read the thoughts you wrote in that community. Thanks for sharing them in the raw. I can feel how this truly decribes you. I am sending you lots and lots of love. <3 Cuddling you and hugging you tight! <3
belenen ══╣gentle╠══
I'm so glad the papers are over, and I'm really looking forward to the orals being over too! ♥

thank you for your positivity and faith that Hannah will visit me this summer ♥ It means such a lot!

*many cuddles and hugs back*
blood_4_deniro ══╣also by hiserature╠══
as far as Hannah goes, i'm sure when she gets there, you 2 will have loads & loads of fun and take tons of pictures :)

and i completely identify with your gypsy spirit/wanderlust. my dad was in the navy til i was 16 and we moved on average every 1-1/2 - 3 years and i'd been in 13 different schools from age 5 til 16, been to all but 10 states of the US. so i whole heartedly identify and know how you feel in that last paragraph. i hate being pinned down and staying in 1 place for too long...i get restless. tho i'm a leo and leos love owning things, lol. of course i dont own people, just stuff. well...my cats own me, but that's a different story ;)

*hugs*
belenen ══╣wanderlust╠══
thank you for having faith that she'll get to visit this summer ♥ it really helps!

oh, yes, exactly! I think possibly my dad being in the military helped to awaken my wanderlust, at the very least it fed into it ;-) I have this weird contradiction in that I love to collect things, but I hate owning things because then I don't feel 'free', I don't feel like I can just pick up and go if I want to. But I still collect beautiful things! ;-)

*hugs back*
kmiotutsie ══╣╠══
*CUDDLES!!!* i miss you too :'( AND... we should go to the gathering this year... I think you will find it really inspiring... think it's a possible??
belenen ══╣wanderlust╠══
*cuddles back*

anything is possible! ;-) when you find out for sure when/where it is, lemme know, okay?
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.