September 2017
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dream (in hell I wash dishes / crash into building, escape, old man takes care, teaches me elements)


I dreamed that I went to hell and they made me wash dishes. In a dim, industrial-looking, windowless kitchen, with a bed in it on which a girl was fooling around with a guy while bragging to him of her other two boyfriends (wtf?). (apparently I was doing her job, because the evil powers didn't know I was there) I'm sure that part of it was inspired by the recent Xena-watching, where she goes to hell (or rather, it comes to her), but the rest of it? I dunno. and I've actually been very good about keeping the dishes clean lately. *pats self on back*

I dreamed that I was being chased in the middle of the night by my boyfriend (dream-reality, not anyone I know), and I was driving a huge bus in order to try and get away. I realized I had to crash to get away from him (so he would think I was dead?) so I did, and the bus went through three shop/flats before stopping. Then I got up and wandered into this old man's apartment and collapsed on the floor with my arms and head on a leather chair. I was sopping wet because it was raining sheets outside, and I had really really long hair again (to my knees, and it was down). The old man saw me and said, "you gotta move because you're messing up the chair," so I apologized and got up and tried to wipe it off with my hand, but he brought a towel for the chair and a blanket for me. But before I took the blanket I stood over the sink and squeezed all my hair out, which took a very long time. Then he wrapped me in the blanket. Time passed, with him feeding and sheltering me, even though he was living off of very little -- his son gave him groceries and money every now and then, but he had only scraped by before I was there, and with me there he was suffering. Once he decided to make himself some food, and got out a tiny bit of iceberg lettuce (significant because of it's lack of real nutritional value) and two avocados. I thought he was just eating the avocados and had accidentally dropped the bit of lettuce, because it was such a small amount, and I was hungry so I snatched it up and ate it. He paused in peeling the avocado and I realized that he was going to eat it, and I said "oh no, were you about to eat that? I thought you had just dropped it!" and he just nodded. and I said oh no, and realized how much of a strain taking care of me was for him, and so I went in the next room to gather my things, (even though I was still weak). He had kept them together, not sold anything or used anything, not even the three ones. I had my camera and cell phone and some other stuff, which I put together and went to leave, thinking the whole time that I needed to hurry and get home and get some money for him. Before I left I stopped to apologize again, and he reached out his arms to me from where he was sitting at the round wooden table (the whole time I was in the kitchen/dining room, except for the moment I went in the other room to get my stuff), and he gave me a long hug. As I was hugging him, he said something about how he liked fire for its heat and water for its cold. I pulled back a little and looked him in the eye and he went on to say that he loved wind because it changed things. He was teaching me something that went so much deeper than those words, he was communicating much more than his words were saying, and I didn't quite understand. I understood that by telling me this he was saying that it was okay that I had taxed his resources, he cared about me. He was saying that he appreciated the time for what it was, and that the strain wasn't a bad thing, it was just a thing, a part of the time spent. I was eager to hear about the other elements but then Ben woke me up :-(
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darkpool ══╣╠══
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
blood_4_deniro ══╣╠══
belenen ══╣dreamy╠══
free2be ══╣╠══
belenen ══╣dreamy╠══
free2be ══╣╠══
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.