September 2017
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thank you / developments with my partner / Curves


Thank you so much, so very much, everyone who offered support and comfort on my last post ♥ I wish I could fully express how much I needed it, and how grateful I am that you gave it. Thank you, thank you.

"Love is possible only if two persons communicate with each other
from the center of their existence... only in this 'central experience'
is human reality, only here is aliveness, only here is the basis for love."
-- Erich Fromm (quoted in Kiss Me Again, my second-favorite movie)


Everything's been so much better between my partner and I since we had that huge discussion on Sunday (and small, intense discussions every day since then). I can't describe how odd it feels to be living with someone whom I don't really know -- and considering bonding with him. He says that he feels sure that as I get to know the real him, we'll be a wonderful match. He's kinda excited, actually, about the awakening he's going through. I'm bewildered by the sudden changes, but I am glad that he's being kind, and I'm hopeful about the future. Not hoping for anything in particular, just hopeful that however this turns out, it's better than the path we were on.

everything feels so surreal.

I don't know, everything is so confusing. I've been terribly scatter-brained (went to stores FOUR TIMES for various jewelry supplies for the same set), and at the same time, so much more motivated than usual. I've been meaning to try out Curves for a while (ever since someone in curvygirls mentioned that it was a body-positive place to get healthy) and finally did so this week. The experience was pretty good, on the whole -- they did attempt to get me to set 'goals' of weight/measurement but I told them that I can tell how my health is by how I feel, and I have no intention of changing the way I look -- so they didn't try to convince me. (if they had, I'd have walked out -- I am not going to be weighed and measured like a side of beef) I went twice this week (they gave me a one-week trial pass) and quite enjoyed it, it's fast-paced and not at all boring, but sadly they have a giant sign-up fee, so it will have to wait. :-( The good news is, I was able to do it fairly vigorously without being wiped out, so I'm not as unfit as I had feared! I wish I could do it now though, because I feel SO revitalized and GLOWY afterwards. I feel like the exercise takes my core energy and spreads it through my whole being. Why must they be so greedy? poo.

anyone want to buy a season or two (or eight) of Friends on DVD? I'll sell 'em cheap! 10 bucks plus shipping, negotiable.

I babysit tomorrow for the first time in years. eek.


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on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.