December 2017
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missing you


I miss:

-- the girl who glowed with such a sweetness that she made my fierceness feel like it had a purpose, protecting her.

-- the girl who listened to my every hurt and loved me unconditionally. Who hugged me even though she hated touching or being touched, because she knew I needed it. Who shared sacred parts of herself, and taught me so much in the process. Who taught me that God/dess is not a bundle of rules, but a person, a being made of love.

-- the girl who inspired me with her intensity, who celebrated her strangeness. Who filled my life with light just by being herself. Who intimidated me with her brilliance, and coaxed me out of my fear of self-expression by finding the brilliance in me. Who shared my excitement over my creations, no matter how undeveloped or unskilled. (night before last I dreamed that she came to me and said she wanted to be friends again ♥)

-- the family who taught me what family is, who accepted and loved me for who I was, right at that moment. Who encouraged me in selling my jewelry, believing in me and even offering help. Who understood that I had been taught lies and lovingly guided me out of my subconscious prejudice, without judging me.

-- the girl who showed me that I was not alone in the way I sense trees, who unintentionally validated something so important to me.

-- the group who let me see a created family, dissimilar people who banded together to create their own culture, rooted in love. Who accepted me as I am, and didn't make me feel like an outsider despite the lack of history I had with them (quite a feat!).

-- the girl who made me feel connected, loved in a way I had never been.

...Missing You by Jem...
I'll always be thankful for the time we had
We were blessed, I should celebrate
but I feel too sad
All the wonderful memories just make me fall apart

But I, yes I, miss you
and it's killing inside
Ooh well I, yes I, miss you
want you by my side

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Comments
gracie4881 ══╣╠══
i also miss my best friend i ended it afta 11yrs..although it hurt me 2 do this i had 2...i know what ur goin threw wen it comes 2 missin ppl that made such an impact in ur life..were always goin 2 miss them no matter what..im here 4 u if u need 2 talk...luv gracie
belenen ══╣pensive╠══
thank you ♥
mandalwarrior ══╣╠══
As with all things in life, you take the lessons from this. You are more able to be who you truly are because of this girl, no? Then continue to be yourself, and you'll only attract more, stronger people who will remain at your side regardless of the circumstances. You speak of a family created of nothing but friends who share a deep love for one another. What's to stop you from bringing a disparate group of people together who have nothing in common but a great love for one another?

As I've told you before, I believe you've got an inner strength you're not always entirely aware of. You miss this girl, but you're that much stronger, now, without her. Everything happens for a reason. If nothing else, I believe that with all my heart.
belenen ══╣distance╠══
actually it's not just one girl, it's quite a few different people...

I agree that everything happens for a reason... but I miss having those people in my life. Maybe I need this, at this time, but I still feel the loss.
mandalwarrior ══╣╠══
And you will. Such is life. But you and I both know you will gain much strength from this. You've already dealt with a lot. Not that this is nothing, but in the grand scheme of what you've already been through, this is little compared to it.

Be well, Belenen.
malignlibra ══╣╠══
<..>
belenen ══╣gentle╠══
sidheblessed ══╣╠══
*hugs*
belenen ══╣gentle╠══
*hugs back*
aubkabob ══╣gretchen worried╠══
:)
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.