September 2017
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goals for 2008: the year of risk-taking

LJ idol topic 15: "My Biggest Challenge"

My greatest challenge is always the one in front of me. There's really no way to compare previous challenges, because I wasn't the same person when I faced them; the very act of facing them changed me. I also can't compare them to challenges others face, because they aren't me. What would be routine for them is a challenge for me, and vice versa. So in a sense, the only challenge that exists for me is the one I am facing at the moment. Old challenges and other people's challenges are good for learning from but otherwise irrelevant.

Right now, my challenge is connecting with the physical world. I have a strange dichotomy of bravery/cowardice: I welcome emotional risk, even seek it out -- hell, I spend all my energy searching for it. I'm an emotional skydiver. But when it comes to the physical world, I flee risk, even the slightest, most inconsequential, like walking in my neighborhood alone (logically, not a risk). I want to change. I want to seek out physical risk -- not inviting harm, but being willing to make small risks for the sake of being connected with the world. I want to make sure that this fear is conquered, so that I can find my opportunities. I need to stop treating my body like it is some valuable to be locked away in a safe while my inner self does the real living; I need to stop the obsessive caution and use my body like the instrument it is. It's not made of glass; if I get injured I can heal. So...

I've declared 2008 the year of risk-taking, and here are my goals (stars by the ones I have already taken steps in, bolded the ones I've done):

  • take risks! when I have an opportunity that I am uncomfortable taking, take it!
    --- ★ -- longer drives, less familiar territory
    --- ★ -- meet more people; get involved with groups
    --- ★ -- take the initiative to make plans with friends
    --- find local events and go to them, alone!
    --- take at least one long bus trip to visit out-of-state friends (I've never taken a bus)
    --- go skinnydipping at least once
    --- go to at least one concert
    --- get passport, travel out of the States! (I've never been out of the US)
    --- go to Scotland & Belgium, meet Kate and Meliae, spend time with Hannah and Nick!
    --- maybe, just maybe, go skydiving. *eeeeek*

  • develop spiritually
    --- grow closer to God/dess
    --- ★ -- practice listening to my spirit and following my intuition!!!
    --- write more about my spiritual journey
    --- ★ -- go to church more & read more spiritual books
    --- visit the Etowah mounds
    a few times, maybe once a month after it gets warm.

  • get stronger
    --- ★ -- go to curves three times a week, stay active
    --- take a self-defense class
    --- do the nocturnal treetop excursion in April
    --- dance more, maybe start taking bellydancing classes again.

  • create more
    --- ★ -- make more jewelry
    --- paint more (get an easel, maybe find a painting buddy)
    --- ★ -- photography (take more and especially SHARE more)

  • decorate myself more; develop a wardrobe that is more expressive of me.
    --- get streaks of violet in my hair when it gets to the right length
    --- get at least one tattoo!
    --- ★ -- get more 'me' clothing and go to the trouble of arranging outfits rather than wearing the easiest thing to put on.
    --- ★ -- find more of my meaningful rings and fix my soul ring :-(

  • bring more love and joy into the world:
    --- leave 'you are beautiful' notes, make trinkets to give away
    --- ★ -- give genuine, full smiles to people rather than this wan thing I've gotten in the habit of
    --- strike up more conversations with strangers

  • meet more of my lj friends!
    --- ★ -- meet at least 5 4 new I haven't before! (met Katie, yay!)
    --- visit Kat (once it gets warm)
    --- maybe visit Megan & Dee, Ali, Katie, Vee & Nea? too many for one year probably but I'll aim for the stars.
    --- meet Ava (and maybe Ry and Dani), maybe during a stopover in NY on May 27th? I may have a 3-to-10 hour stopover, so if you live near JFK airport and wanna meet me, let me know asap because I am (*deep breath*) BUYING THE TICKET THIS WEEK! It's a little cheaper to go through Toronto so if nobody wants to can meet me I'll be going that way instead.
    --- any of you *points to flist* are welcome to come visit me anytime, as long as you don't mind sharing a bed or crashing on the couch. *sigh* hopefully this time next year we will have guest space.

  • Self-educate:
    --- ★ -- read 55 books or 17,171 pages this year, keep a running list, and post updates!
    --- keep at least a 1-to-4 ratio of non-fiction to fiction.
    --- maybe take art classes? or ASL? I want to learn so badly!

  • ★ -- further develop my soulfriendship with Nimajneb
  • create a new soulfriendship or restore an old one.
  • find a girlfriend
  • ★ -- post WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT, as often as I am moved to do so

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on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.