December 2017
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31


healing with Hannah -- misunderstandings caused by differing definitions for the same word


yesterday Hannah and I had this amazing conversation... We had never really talked about the stuff that happened during her visit, and somehow the topic came up. Suddenly I was overwhelmed with all of this pain which I had tried to explain away, but which of course had never really been dealt with. I felt so terrified and despairing, seeing all of these blocks between us that seemed impossible to remove. We discussed it and realized that one of the biggest hurts for me was caused by a misunderstanding: one simple word which we both understood to mean something completely different. Realizing this was such a huge relief, such a huge step towards closing the gap between us. Before this conversation, I was closing my eyes and taking a leap of faith in planning to visit her; now I'm still taking a leap of faith, but I have opened my eyes and caught a glimpse of where I will land. I feel very encouraged and much more sure that this is the right choice.

Next time I'm clashing with someone, I very much hope I remember to check definitions -- language is such a clumsy thing. The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug. -- Mark Twain

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Comments
armandii ══╣╠══
It's so easy for a misunderstanding to occur due to a difference in the way a word or concept is understood by one person compared with how it is defined by another person. I'm very glad you two are building bridges.
belenen ══╣interconnectedness╠══
I'm very glad too! ♥
chillychilly22 ══╣╠══
awww... yay!

I know my long time best friend holds words to their absolute true definition... meanwhile my other best friend from college... I could say something and mean something else but she'll completely understand me without any explaination. I could say "The sky is blue." and she'll understand it as "it's not going to rain. this is great!" whereas my other best friend will say "no shit. it usually is." And sometimes that annoys the hell out of me but I'm sure my loose definitions and play on words sometime annoy the hell out of her.
belenen ══╣garrulous╠══
haha! what a great example. It's so wonderful to find someone who speaks our language! Hannah and I usually are so close in understanding that we don't expect misunderstandings, which I think is a big part of the reason it took us so long to realize this one!
rockstarjoker4 ══╣╠══
communication is a blessing and a curse. I'm glad you two are able to clear up the misunderstanding. Hopefully, this is just the beginning of many more great conversations!
belenen ══╣oneness╠══
amen, yo!
aetheric ══╣╠══
It can be so enlightening to understand how someone else defines a word, especially if it's an uncommon term. Here's to hoping for an ever stronger connection between the two of you!
belenen ══╣analytical╠══
yeah... this one was crazy common, and we usually speak the same language so having a different definition didn't even occur to us! Glad to have that lesson learned ;-)
diepunyhuman ══╣gentle╠══

That's usually all it is. Unfortunately, I've somehow never been able to clear things up. I wonder why that is...

In any case, I'm very glad this has happened for you both. :)
belenen ══╣analytical╠══
well... I think it takes two! so if the other person isn't as determined to find and fix the tangle, it stays tangled despite your best efforts. :-p

thanks!
roina_arwen ══╣Bright Notebooks╠══
I'm glad you two have worked through your issues, but now I'm curious as to what the misunderstood word was!

*Huggles*
belenen ══╣disassociative╠══
'sorry'! Crazy how such a small word can cause so much strife. :-p
sidheblessed ══╣╠══
Ah, misunderstandings. They have unravelledso many beautiful friendships. It's good you guys could clarify things because misunderstandings often lead to so much unnecessary hurt.
belenen ══╣healing╠══
well this one already lead to the hurt, but finding it out lead to healing ;-)
shioneh ══╣violet composition╠══
I'm so glad that we are starting, slowly, to talk and so glad that we realized this misunderstanding. A lot of things are so much clearer in my head since realizing it and our discussion yesterday gave me this faith that even though there's still healing and unraveling to be done, we can <3 I'm so glad your eyes have caught a glimpse of where you'll land and feel more sure now. I'm still awed at you risking in visiting me.
belenen ══╣bel hearts hannah╠══
♥ I love you, sweetheart!
flyingshaman ══╣╠══
It really warms my heart that you two were able to reconnect. Language can trip us up sometimes, especially when the connotation for one is quite different for another.
belenen ══╣connate╠══
♥ it can indeed trip us up. If only we could rediscover telepathy! *sigh* One day...
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.