October 2017
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dreams (Foreman from HouseMD, confronting my mom about her ED, abstract sex-representation)


Twice recently I've dreamed about Foreman (after marathoning my way through House M.D.). In the first dream, I was a mocha-skinned Goddess (literally, in the reality of the dream I was superhuman) in a jungle-y area (wtf?) -- it was apparently my temple and he was there to worship. I think he sang for me, or recited poetry in my honor? he was much thicker than in real life, wearing only a blue loincloth that draped down to the floor (I'm embarrassed at recounting this, it seems so dreadfully stereotyped). The thing I noticed most was the cellulite on his butt and the back of his thighs, and I thought it was very intriguing and sexy how he was both muscular and plush. It's been a while so I don't remember much else, but he was very seductive and I was very appreciative. ;-)

The second dream I had of him was very short and simple -- I was alone and scared in a dark parking lot, and then I saw him he held his arms out to me. I ran over to him and he gave me the most amazing, enveloping hug -- he lifted me off of the ground, but it wasn't rib-crushing like it would have been in real life. It lasted a long time and was sooooo wonderful.

Night before last I dreamed about my mom. We were at our old old property, on the gravel driveway, and I confronted her about her ED. She tried to wave it off, but I reminded her of her size when she ate well and ran every day (she was at least 4 sizes thicker then) -- that was obviously her healthy size. With this new size she barely eats and she looks famine-stricken. She doesn't glow, and she seems so tired and breakable. I don't live with her so I haven't watched her habits myself, but lil sis knows that she doesn't eat. :-(

Then yesterday I had this web of dreams that my psyche told me were sex, except they weren't. One part of it was about walls that poured water, with a thin ledge high up on which I stood and pushed others off when they tried to climb up (I've had several similar dreams in the past). Another part was me choosing these packaged items -- shoes, or ipods? something weird. they were 'sex partners' in dream-reality. The rest I don't really remember, but it was all that weird and non-sensual. I woke up feeling very dissatisfied and lonely.

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Comments
depravedhumane ══╣╠══
The fact that the first of your Foreman dreams was stereotypical is indicative, at least in my opinion and experience, of a secret buried within your subconscious that wants to be freed. Nothing necessarily dark or dire, just something wishing to see the light of the Goddess and you are either purposely or unconsciously suppressing it.

I know you did not ask for my interpretation or opinion, I just thought that perhaps it may shed a little light on things for you as to why the dreams are so vivid, at least sections of them

The other dreams have their own knowledge locked in them, but perhaps it is best if I did not say things about the minds of others?

If you are interested I would be happy to share my thoughts on the matter.
belenen ══╣curious╠══
hmmmm, I wonder... I'm really baffled by it. It would all fit as 'normal' for my dreamscape except for the part where III had dark skin, and that just throws it all in a different light.

the dreams that I remember are always vivid, but this one had all the saturation and detail turned up full-blast, it was like a sensory overload!

feel free to share more! this stuff is always subjective of course, but even if your interpretation doesn't resonate, it might spark a thought that DOES resonate. And I'm curious. ;-)
depravedhumane ══╣╠══
Indeed, discussion helps in all things.

The vividness of the dream is something in it's own regard, in my own experience I have seen that the vividness, or lack of it has determined the importance of it. Almost as if it were trying to scream at you instead of whisper it into your ear sensually.
belenen ══╣analytical╠══
hmm, good point, I will think on that.
sylvanfae ══╣Dreams╠══
You did a good job of explaining the "x in images, y in meaning" weirdness of dreams. I often have those in my dreams... sometimes in the form of something the waking world would consider "gross" or "bad/scary/sad", but that doesn't bother me at all during the dream.

And I've discovered that a lot of the time, if not all the time, everything has crazy-deep levels on levels of meanings while I'm in the dreams... but when I wake I only retain one, maybe two meanings. Figured this out when I only half-woke and was holding onto lots of the deepness. =) By meanings I mean that I'd wake and remember "the couch was green plaid, and made me feel happy" but in-dream the green symbolized nature, and the plaid was weavings of many different thought-threads (and under that, maybe they were mine & other people's thoughts-threads, & under that, some of those people are beings from other dimensions and planets) and the couch and I had a past and many feelings associated with it, but there was also a current spiritual thing going on there... even as I sit there having a mundane conversation with someone.

LOL!
belenen ══╣intrigued╠══
oh, yes, I see what you mean! I always want to see what happens next in my dreams so I have the hardest time waking out of them. *shakes head*

thanks for the awesome depth-explanation! that was fun to read. ;-)
kmiotutsie ══╣╠══
the last one sounds like you're unsatisfied with material "stuff." water is also supposed to symbolize fear-- do you remember how you were feeling?? as for your mom, maybe it's time to confront her about it?
belenen ══╣analytical╠══
I've heard that water is supposed to represent emotion, but I had never heard fear. In the dream I was the opposite of afraid though -- I was like a wildcat, fierce and happy in my wildness.

I do think that the dream was telling me to confront her! I had brought it up before but for whatever reason, it didn't occur to me to remind her of her former healthy self. (that was a very 'duh!' moment) I called her and left a message -- she can be very hard to reach but hopefully she'll get back with me. if not I will try again -- I have much more that I need to talk with her about.
kmiotutsie ══╣╠══
maybe conquering your fears??
melissarose8585 ══╣╠══
I don't havy anything incredibly deep to say... it's really cool, though, that you can get some meaning out of your dreams. Do you dream a lot? I tend to dream quiet a bit compared to most I've talked to, but I've never been able to pull any meaning out of them. Was the meaning instinctual to you, or have you read anything on analysing dreams?

I did get one thing out of this post: I think I want to start blogging my dreams. Maybe keeping up with them and seeing how they fit into my life would be a good project. :)
belenen ══╣dreamy╠══
I do dream a lot -- well, technically we all dream the same amount, but I think that my dreams are more vivid than most, and I remember them more often. I have read bits here and there on analysing dreams, but it's pretty instinctual -- I think in metaphor anyway, so unraveling dream metaphor is usually not too hard for me. It's easier with other people's dreams though, for some reason. ;-)

oh yay! I think recording dreams is really a wonderful idea.
mourningdoveava ══╣╠══
The thought of confrontation re: ED makes me profoundly uneasy, wow. What a dream.
belenen ══╣gentle╠══
how come it makes you uneasy? the thought of someone confronting you, or you confronting someone else, or...?

*hugs and love*
mourningdoveava ══╣╠══
I think the....thought of being confronted. In general, over that issue. My ED is so volatile that I just picture that kind of confrnotation turning me into exactly the kind of person I would never want to be. Someone who either got angry, or simply resorted to deception to avoid confrontations in the future.

Plus it seems so - ah, I don't know. Harsh? Maybe it's because I feel like an eggshell right now. Just that scenario seems tremendously unsettling to my brain.

*lovesnuggles*
belenen ══╣nuzzle╠══
aww, babe ♥ *hugs* I would do my very best to never be harsh with you, and over such a sensitive subject would only confront if I felt it was absolutely necessary (and then I would do it as gently as possible).

*much love*
meganlynnangela ══╣╠══
I haven't stopped by in awhile, good to know you're still spilling your beautiful purple thoughts into this thing.

Sad to hear that your mom doesn't sound healthy. However, I wanted to caution you against jumping to the eating disorder conclusion, unless you know from her past that that's a likely problem. Sometimes stress and depression can cause extreme weight loss too. As well as illness. I have a co-worker who has been concerned lately because during a really bad cold/flu bout, she lost a lot of weight and she was already naturally slender, and now she's having trouble putting the weight back on.

Anyway, I hope your mom's ok!
belenen ══╣distance╠══
I do know from her past that it's a likely problem, no worries.

I hope and pray she will be okay too. ♥
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.