November 2017
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helped miss K with her website / forgiveness


Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum.

I'm not really drunk. Only a little. And the only alcohol in my system is the elixir of night air.

I helped Miss Kathleen with her website today -- she was building it in Word, which was alien to me, but we got it about 90% done anyway (as opposed to 30%). She was so grateful. (I was glad I could show off the little skill I have) Building websites for a living would be so fun.

AND I mostly-finished a beading project. I'll post a photo soon. (it's "the Empress" --one of my most intricate designs)


I feel so disappointed in something, but I don't know what. Maybe I'm stressed out about Sylvia. (she's not running very well so we aren't driving her, which means I rarely leave the house) Then again, maybe I'm just not reaching out to God. Recently I realized that I haven't been much of a friend to him -- only seeking him for what he can give me and not actually seeking his heart -- and I'm ashamed of myself and kinda self-punishing by not letting him comfort me. Stupid, i'n' it? Refusing forgiveness 'cause I feel like I don't deserve it...

You don't forgive someone 'cause they deserve forgiveness-- you forgive 'cause your love is stronger than the pain they caused you. I know this with my head, but my heart is resolutely unconvinced.

feelings: slightly dead

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Comments
anar_anar ══╣╠══
Sorry, obviously I'm fairly new to your journal and to..uh, you :) Do you belong to a specific faith ? Or no ?
belenen ══╣alive╠══
I'm a Christian, the don't-put-me-in-a-box sort. For me, God is a person, not a set of rules, and he makes my life awesome. (you should read my God's sense of humor story)
anar_anar ══╣╠══
ahhhh I see I see, it makes much more sense now hehehe :D
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.