June 2017
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If you find me to be in error (causing harm), then call me on it.
I do not care to be tolerated.

If you are on my friends list and you learn something about me that you believe to be causing harm to myself or others, I expect you to either speak up about it or unfriend me. If you speak up and you tell me something I hadn't previously considered, or point out something I hadn't noticed, I will be happy for the chance to grow and change. And if you speak up about something I don't consider to be harmful, I will explain myself. I might end the conversation feeling that we are incompatible as friends, or I might end up with new admiration for you, or both. But I do not want to call people friends who consider my actions harmful and do not call me on it. If I think some of your actions are harmful I will express that (if I care for you) or unfriend you (if I feel neutral about you). I want to be able to trust that my friends believe I am not causing harm, so I will assume silence to be neutrality, not disapproval.

There is plenty I do that makes people uncomfortable, but I do not consider that to be harm and if you do, we probably won't get along. Causing harm means something different to each person, but generally if you feel something is always wrong in every instance, then that would be something you consider to cause harm.

If you disapprove of anything that is a pattern in my life, I feel that it is very dishonest to keep that from me. Instead I would like you to express that in a respectful way, with the expectation that the issue will turn out to be a misunderstanding. Always assume that there is something YOU have not considered, and I will do the same. There is a lot about my life that I share, but it is not possible to put absolutely everything in words, so do not think that you know everything about me and therefore can judge. Not even I know everything about me or my life. When you speak to me, do not judge by saying "you are [negative adjective]!" or "your actions are [negative adjective]!" but instead ASK questions like "why did you do this? it seems to me that that would cause harm because ____" or perhaps "I find your actions to be harm-causing because ____. What do you think/feel about that?" If you're not coming at the subject with an arrogant attitude, there's no way I'm going to be offended. I do not at all mind being questioned or challenged in a respectful way -- the goal of my life is to learn, and how can one learn without being challenged?

I want to be treated kindly but I do not want to be humored. Just be honest with me. If you have a problem with bisexuality or polyamory or nude photography or any other way I live my life, then tell me so, and tell me why. And maybe I will understand your reason and be able to agree-to-disagree. Or maybe I will find your views repugnant, and while respecting your right to have them, choose not to be around them. If you want to be my friend, take the risk.
sounds: William Zeitler -- "Royal City"
connecting: , ,

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Oh no! Is somebody being mean about your lifestyle choices? I don't understand; I haven't seen anything. Have I missed it?
belenen honesty
oh no, no one has been rude, but I just realized that someone who was previously on my flist considers various parts of my life inherently wrong (rather than, as I thought, a choice that ze would not want for zirself but did not consider harmful), through vague and indirect posts. I then realized that there might be more who were tolerating my 'misbehavior' and that isn't something I want.

I think some people consider it polite to be silent when they think someone else is causing harm, but I consider that dishonest and disrespectful. I deserve to know my friends' honest opinion of me rather than being allowed to believe a lie out of nice, tolerant falsity.
I can understand that, but I hope that you don't take other people's opinions too much to heart.

For example, I'm not into polyamory. I've tried it, and I'm pretty sure that I'm just not suited to that lifestyle. However, you seem to be and by all appearances, are really happy with it. Even though I personally couldn't do it, doesn't mean I need to go around telling you all the time "I DO NOT AGREE WITH POLY LIFESTYLES."

I mean, I'm not judging you (or anybody else poly) at all. I just know for me, it's not possible. And maybe there are other people like me out there who aren't judging you but who perhaps can't make the same choices you make.

I'd hate for you to suddenly feel like you were defending yourself to a bunch of people. Because, after all, does it really matter what other people think? Obviously, I don't have a problem with you and your choices. I love you and think you're pretty amazing for who you are. This other person, though... Apparently they think it's cool to go around talking about somebody when they're not around to defend themselves. I don't like that at all.

Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to do is make sure you don't feel you have to defend yourself to anybody. There are probably people like me out there who might not be able to live as you do, but don't disagree with your choice to do so. And then there are probably people who are rude and spiteful and will try to make you feel bad for achieving a happiness they're not capable of.

I just don't want to see you get upset, go down that road. Who cares what somebody like that thinks? Let them go be unhappy by themselves in their judging little minds. You know?
belenen honesty
Oh, I'm not talking about seeing my choices as undesirable -- I'm talking about seeing them as causing harm. It's not a judgment against chocolate to say you prefer vanilla, but it is a judgment to say "eating chocolate causes harm to you and others."

I'm actually not feeling defensive, though it might sound like that ;-) I just want people to know that I don't want polite silence, I want respectful honesty. I think that person probably thought that they were being nice by not saying "I think you are sinning against God by having a same-sex lover" but I think it's disrespectful to think that and not say it, and let me think that you just have a different preference for your OWN life. (and just for the hell of it, Jesus & the Christian God don't have a problem with same-sex relationships, certain people who call themselves christians do)

I just want to KNOW if I am being judged, so that I can make an informed choice on whether or not to associate with someone. Prefer different choices in your own life? fantastic! no need to express that unless you want to. Think that my choices are harming someone? you better fucking TELL me.
belenen honesty
It is not that they were offensive to me -- it's that I had not realized that you believed that same-sex romantic relationships were inherently wrong and should be avoided at all costs, nor (until a few days ago) that you believed that women were designed to submit. I thought that these were things you lived in your own life, not things that you believed all people should do. I also thought that while you believed these things, you would not be willing to impose them on others (by supporting a law that takes away a freedom/privilege for some people while allowing others to have it).

I don't dislike you and I am not angry with you, but had I known those things I would not have had you on my friends list, because believing those things is a judgement. You might not feel judgmental doing it, and you might have no intention of judging, but those beliefs are judgments. If something is part of me AND inherently wrong, then I am inherently wrong. If you truly feel that I am causing harm by having a same-sex lover and not submitting to male humans, then why are you associating with me? If I felt someone was knowingly and willfully causing harm, I would not associate with them. And if I am not causing harm to myself or others, why do you believe my actions are sinful? If you define sin as "the Bible says don't" then how come you pick and choose which commands to obey and which to ignore?

You confuse me because you ask questions and seem to be really seeking, but then you ignore the answers. I would expect that if you were genuinely seeking/listening, your perspective would change at least a little every now and then.

When it comes right down to it, we've disagreed for a long time but I always thought there was at least a chance that you might see where I am coming from, or at least look into it. Not on my lifestyle in particular, but on the issues of equality and sexuality as seen by the church vs. as seen by God/dess. But learning that you are not open to change on those issues makes me realize that you cannot learn from me and I cannot learn from you.

It's not that I don't consider you worthy -- it's that I only like friendships that grow and change, and ours has stayed in a cycle for a very long time. I do like you a lot, which is why I kept you on my flist despite going utterly mad over some of your posts (as my comments revealed, heh), but since I don't feel like it is creating anything useful, I want to spend my time elsewhere.
belenen honesty
I don't mean you ignore all answers. I mean that when you ask a question and I present you with my answer, oftentimes you ignore it. Such as when I bring up the point that the Bible encourages slaves to submit, yet you do not take that to mean that God approves of slavery, or that it is an appropriate type of relationship. You did not respond to that at all (just one example of many).

Whatever you would prefer with regards to your friendslist is fine with me.
belenen powerful
The point of my comment about slave submitting was that the Bible speaks to women in exactly the same way. As a cultural concession, not as approval of the relationship structure. God saying "be kind in the place that you are" does NOT MEAN "the place that you are is good, stay there."
Okay, I see the distinction now. There is a difference between, "That lifestyle choice wouldn't work for me," and "I think that lifestyle choice is dangerous TO YOU."

I've just never thought about who I loved being dangerous really. I think of "danger" in terms of driving drunk, smoking crack, or perhaps sleeping with a married man (whose relationship is not polyamorous and whose wife would kill me.)

I'm sorry if my response made you angry.. I can't tell if you're just frustrated by the situation or if perhaps I didn't word what I was trying to say adequately enough.

I'm sorry you're having troubles, hon... But rest assured, I don't think you're dangerous at all. I think you're wonderful and loving and kind and I'm glad to know you. :)
belenen loving
oh no! you didn't make me angry, it's just me being "RAH!" at the idea. ;-)

Hiya! No I'm perfectly cool with your lifestyle choices (though many in my country would be mortified if the learnt about them lol stupid jerks). I am a glad to have a person with perspectives different from me on my friends list. I won't go along with some of the choices you have made, but that in no way diminishes my respect for you.

Also, now that you are asking for an honest opinion, it sometimes occurs to me that your considering gender an artificial construct and using neutral pronouns is taking things too far. But it's just my thought, I'd love to hear from you about your thoughts behind it.

Take care! :)
belenen iconoclast

Well, as long as you don't think I am causing people harm, there's no need to tell me. Though if you just feel like it for the sake of openness and honesty, feel free!

I'm not really sure what you mean by 'taking things too far' but I know that some people consider it to be silly and over-the-top, and I see how they might feel that way. If I hadn't learned all that I know, I would probably consider it silly or even offensive. It's okay with me if others think that. All I can do is encourage them to educate themselves and reflect on the effect that gender concepts have on human beings. I know that I cannot change the whole world, but I can change myself, and I feel that I will be happiest if I do not allow myself to be restricted by gender or to view others in gendered stereotypes, so that is my path. It's been a long and winding road to get here, and it's really something that has to be experienced to be understood. I can point you to some books that enlightened me, if you'd like! There are a few fiction novels and some non-fiction books which really opened my eyes and might be interesting to someone who is willing to question gender (even if you think abolishing it is silly ;-)).
belenen iconoclast
It's habit! That's how we're used to relating to people. I catch myself wondering what sex a person is when I don't know, and then I have the chance to remind myself that knowing the sex wouldn't actually tell me anything about the person. I get more and more comfortable relating to people simply as human, and I love it!
If someone specifically asked for the gender-based pronouns, would you use them?

That's what I wonder about, personally. Having been...not confronted by, but certainly exposed to the idea of gender as a construction that could be abolished, and having seen other people make the decision to switch or completely ignore it, I have likewise made the decision for myself that I am very comfortable with myself as a female entity and downright love being a woman. To that end I always feel I should use the pronouns that someone requests of me, and not assume, and I would count ze and zir and the like as assuming -- because though to you it is freeing, to another it could be seen as taking something away.

That said, I don't find your use of the pronouns offensive and I certainly don't sit up at night worrying over it, and I can also see how in a way it's much more polite to start with ze and zir and change accordingly later if asked. It's just that in a way you're imposing your own views on gender on others by insisting that it doesn't exist at all, for anyone, anywhere -- just as someone telling you it definitely does and you need to accept that would be imposing their views on you.

But, it's your journal. This is just food for thought, since you asked, and I am a brutally honest person. Carry on.
belenen iconoclast
I am very comfortable with myself as a female entity and downright love being a woman

So am I! I am not at all uncomfortable with my sex or anyone else's. What I find uncomfortable and discriminatory is gender, meaning all the stereotypes that people make about sex.

The reason I do not use gendered pronouns even on request is that it would be hypocritical for me to use gendered for some and genderfree for others.

It is taking something away. Something many people value, but which I see as an oppressive structure. Similarly, in making marriage equal, I am taking away the heterosexual person's privilege. The heterosexual person might have a problem with it, and feel upset and offended that they would be 'lowered' to equal status with homosexuals. If someone had worked very hard to become heterosexual, they might also be upset that all their hard work would be for nothing, if equality was going to come so easily. I don't see those things as reasons to treat people differently.

Also, there is the idea that transgender people have fought hard for the pronoun -- but I do not think that the transgendered person is any more attached to the idea of gender than a cisgendered person. They're simply attached to a different one than society says they should be. I don't think it would be fair for me to refer to a very gender-attached cisgender person as ze and then refer to a very gender-attached transgender person as whatever they chose. That's giving privilege in the opposite way. My whole point is to treat everyone the same -- male, female, cis, trans, etc.

The entire world imposes its view of gender on me at all times. I do not have the power to impose my view of gender on anyone. I cannot make the world refer to someone as ze, as the world makes everyone refer to me as she. I cannot make gender cease to exist for others. I can make it cease to exist for ME, by changing my thinking and language. In order to impose my ideas of gender, I would have to force others to also refer to themselves as ze, which I would not do.

Someone telling me that gender definitely does exist would not be imposing their views on me, they would be stating their opinion. IF they added "and you need to accept that" then they would be attempting to impose their ideas on me and force me to believe the same thing. I do not say "and you need to accept that" or "and you need to change," I simply say "gender is a false concept that creates and enforces inequality" which is my opinion. I do not urge others to follow my lead, I simply say "this is my opinion, this is my path."
Ohh, I see, you're going from the position that gender and sex are different. I understand that and agree with you about stereotypes being bad and suchlike; I just haven't gotten to the point where I always consider gender and sex to be different things, probably because I have no discord in my own life over it and so it's a difficult concept for me to wrap my mind around.

Maybe the reason I feel this coming so strongly from you is that when I read your writing, I hear "gender is a false concept that creates and enforces inequality" without the "it is my opinion that --" preface, so it always sounds to me like you're stating a Universal Fact™ such as the sky being blue, not just something that you believe. I'll keep that in mind in the future.
Hi! Stepping in for a sec... uh. I already do question gender but not to the extent you have, though that's mainly for not knowing where to start in terms of educationing since there seems to be little on the topic. So I'm wondering if you could recommend such books to me? :)
I can't imagine you causing harm. Does not compute. It's just not in you.
belenen gentle
awww, thank you ♥
notashamed [jolie] young smile
i am always impressed with the amount of thought and effort that you put into your life decisions, not to mention the amount of time and effort you put into your LJ posts! You have reminded me to be true to myself, to behave in a way because it is true to ME, not because it's what I should/shouldn't do. there are many decisions you make that, when it comes down to it, i don't understand. at times, I read through your explanations of why you live your life the way you do, and to be honest, sometimes I don't read it. I don't feel that I need to agree with you on everything. I can know about your life, sit here on the internet-sideline of your path and be a spectator. I wouldn't make the same life choices that you do, but I don't feel that I need to in order to be friends with you. It's possible that we disagree on this, and I'd want you to say so if you feel that's true. I know how deliberate you are with your friends list and if you feel that you would like to keep your list down to people that are able/willing to be more involved, I would completely understand.
belenen analytical
Thank you for this thoughtful comment ♥

As long as you don't believe that I am causing harm (and speak up if you do believe that), I am more than happy to be friends with someone who would make different choices. I am curious as to how often you don't read my explanations, heh, as I tend to do a lot of that (I like to think about the whys behind my own behavior), but if you still feel that you get something positive out of what you do read then I guess I don't mind. I feel like our friendship is going somewhere -- maybe very slowly, but still forward. ;-)
I completely agree with everything you said. It makes me worry about you though, that someone would prompt you to write this! I hope everything is okay. <333
belenen progressing
It is, no worries. ;-) I've just had an unpleasant surprise and want to prevent it happening again. And I want people to know that I prefer respectful bluntness to polite silence (if they didn't know that already, heh).
Yet again, a post from one of the many neutrals on your flist. But I can explain why my silence usually means that, too, much in the same way you explained it yourself.

Many of the decisions you have made in your life are not paths I have followed. That does not mean I haven't looked down the path, though. I think we all have a right to choose our own road in this life, and no one road is right for everyone. And while I may not comment on everything you write, I do read much of it. It's a life journey, and your thought process is always so clear to me in each of your many life-altering decisions. I can understand it, relate to it, and make myself think about life in ways I may not have before.

So while I might be prone to silence, it isn't the polite, just not saying anything kind. It's usually me looking at your posts and seeing where I am in my own life on that subject. For example, your post on religion and the Quaker faith. Religion is something I've constantly battled with, as my spirituality seems to never fit one specific religion. But that post made me think and introduced me to new, previously unknown ideas. So it made me think about my own life and where I was.

Does this make any sense? I hope so. Many of your posts give me ideas and new viewpoints that I am really grateful for, even if I might look at first and think something is far from normal. Because far from normal gets me thinking and opens me up to other parts of this big world, and that's a good thing in my opinion.
I admire you so much! I just wanted to say that I think you put a lot of thought and effort into the decisions you make regarding your lifestyles, and you also very much believe in openness and being honest with oneself. So while everyone is fallible and will at times overlook things or even develop defensive mechanisms to overlook things, I see you as overwhelmingly responsible and accountable in regards to your lifestyle choices. Just wanted to say that.
aerialmelodies Supportive
You're happy and confident in your choices in life, and that is all that matters. If you sounded unhappy, I'd speak up. I know we've not been on each other's flists long, but of course it's great to read new viewpoints regardless of whether or not I'm going to follow them. As you said, it's what keeps our minds expanding. :)
rapidrabbit oh really?
Hmm. I've honestly been sitting here trying to think if I consider your lifestyle choices harmful. I think this is a rocky area for me, just because I know we used to disagree on something (I don't know what your stance is now): I believe that whatever an adult chooses to do in the privacy of their home is just peachy so long as it doesn't cause harm to others, and is not...(I'm stuggling for the right words here)...unintentionally, irreparably harmful to themselves. I even think adults have the right to cause themselves some harm if they wish. (I drink sodas and coffee, and I believe caffiene to be harmful. I have friends who smoke, and I believe cigarettes to be harmful. I don't think it's wrong if a person's sexual preferances include BDSM, and that can be harmful. If an adult chooses to do something when they are fully capable of understanding the risks, I don't think it's my place to cast judgement. I'm very harsh in what I consider wrong for myself so I'm not entirely sure where I draw the line on morality in general, or if I have the right to do so at all. A knowledgeable decision by an adult should be honored, I think, so long as it isn't hurting anyone else. That's where things like drug use get hazy for me, because while I think an adult can make decisions for themselves, so often those adults hurt everyone around them through their choices. But I'm getting off-topic here. I just wasn't sure how to exemplify what I'm talking about.)

I'm quite certain you and I disagree on a lot. (Want a big one? I don't believe in Jesus as divine; I believe he was a man who lived, did good, and died, just like a lot of completely human men.) But I can't think of anything that we disagree on that I see as being harmful. (Just like I certainly don't cast any judgements on your eternal soul for believing in a diety I don't. But it would be different if you were prostelytizing - I find that downright wrong, and definately harmful.) I also know that polyamoury wouldn't work for me, but so long as you aren't causing Ben to weep in a corner every night (which I get the impression you're not) I don't see why I'd have reason to call it "wrong."

I will assume silence to be neutrality, not disapproval

Exactly. I think sometimes people don't keep silent out of disrespect or politeness, but simply because they consider things a nonissue. You and I have had our issue debates in the past. Frankly, I think I've grown up a lot since then, and if I don't comment on something that we have different views on, it's not because I'm silently passing judgement, but rather because I just think the disagreement is a nonissue. I would have silently assumed that you wouldn't condemn me for not believing in the Christ story, just as I wouldn't condemn you for believing in it.
i support you because you are my sister and i love you. i wont sit by and not tell you my opinions but thats only because i care about you.
I do worry a little that this was directed at me as well (reason being: I referenced a quote that said something to the effect of "don't saddle me with your god by praying for me"). If I may explain myself...

I have absolutely NO problem with the way you live. It's actually what I adore about you. And while I cannot always understand fully why you worship the way you do, I would never ever mean to insinuate that you are doing harm to others or yourself. You live your life the way that pleases you, and above all I find that admirable.

If there has been a misunderstanding or bad vibes held over from that or another incident, I'm more than willing to discuss/explain. Do let me know.
harmonixer cetula
I'm only new to being on your Livejournal, but I'm enjoying it so far! I was really curious as to what you meant by 'being harmful' and I can't really understand how what you may discuss in terms of sexuality or how you express it could be considered as harmful in the slightest. Then again, I know people can be easily offended. =/

Anyway, this was a bit of a rambling comment! I hope to read lots more from you soon, especially about things that others may consider 'harmful'! =)
lady_hoshi Smiling me "Don't take" Gift
I'm new as well. At first I just friended you so you could see that I had entries so I could join curvygirls but I enjoy reading your journal and I am glad and honored you friended me.

I don't comment alot but I do find your posts very mind expanding. I get to see things with a different view. I find it helps me understand some of friends better.
heh, the only thing "harmful" about you is that you are completely yourself and demand respect just as anyone should. you know I don't think there's anything causing harm about what you do, or at least nothing that I've seen so far, and I'm sure you would be wise enough to be informed or ask about any other lifestyle, etc choices you would make.
I think you've made an extremely important distinction here in your dealings with the difference between discomfort and harm. So much of society has made us slaves to discomfort in ways that we don't even realize. Hair removal, high heeled shoes, tight clothing, beauty regimens... I dealt specifically in feminine issues with my answer, but I know there are discomforts to be felt in the masculine camp as well. The point is, we've almost desensitized ourselves to this kind of discomfort. It's become a way of life to push our bodies, to overwork and overstress them and try to fit them into what we believe to be the "perfect" model. But far be it for us to do something of the same thing to our minds. No, by and large, we balk at the idea of mental discomfort. We have pills to mask it, therapies to hide it away, and a million and one ways to keep ourselves from experiencing the least bit of psychological strain. Discomfort mind you, not harm. Harm is always a negative in my mind, harm should always be ended as abruptly and cleanly as possibly.

My goodness, what lengths we'll go to in order to keep ourselves from feeling this discomfort, all at the expense of truly harming those around us. Because let's face it, ignorance is not bliss. Ignorance is harmful. Perhaps if we all put ourselves through a bit more discomfort in terms of our ideas and our values we'd truly grow stronger and more beautiful. They say so much of the time that "beauty is pain." Why does this only refer to ripping hair at the roots and changing our appearance?
whispermouth tea; the last of the
I have wondered why you have not added me to your friends list. Is there a particular reason? Should I remove you as well?

And again, I must disagree with you on gender, when you said, "I catch myself wondering what sex a person is when I don't know, and then I have the chance to remind myself that knowing the sex wouldn't actually tell me anything about the person."

This is just like saying that people don't have a race, like telling a black person, "I don't see colour." It can be slightly annoying to downright offensive, depending on the person. To do so is to ignore the racism that has defined or affected his or her life since before birth. The same way that to refuse to acknowledge my femaleness cuts out an incredibly important part of my life - to have lived and to have been perceived by the world as female. You calling me 'ze' doesn't erase the fact that I have been discriminated against because of my femaleness. And that makes up a part of who I am. So when someone talks to me, I want them to acknowledge that part of me as well.

I really, truly respect that you are trying to be very progressive with gender. Our views are quite similar. But I think that what you are claiming here is, in fact, harmful. Please give it some more thought.
belenen iconoclast
I hadn't added you because your journal was so new that there aren't many entries. I don't tend to add new journals -- it's not a rule but I like to know that they aren't going to leave LJ in a week or post only once a month, things like that. Generally if I don't add someone right away, I go back to their journal after they've made a comment and see who they are.

Actually, it's not at all like telling a black person "I don't see colour." Because I do, obviously, see both color and gender, and I know that those things have a HUGE effect on people's lives. The point is, they shouldn't. What I do is more like seeing a black person and consciously remembering that I cannot make any assumptions about them based on their skin color. Now if I get to know the person I can know what effect their skin color has had on their life, and then it has relevance. I know perfectly well that outward appearance has a huge effect on people's lives, because of the way others treat them. But for me to refer to them constantly as 'my black friend' rather than just 'my friend' is putting far too much emphasis on race. Similarly, saying 'my friend, she' is putting far too much emphasis on sex. I am endeavoring to treat all humans the same in my casual speech. Not to fail to recognize their differences, but instead to put the FOCUS on their similarities.

I can speak of discrimination and understand it without using gendered language. I know what it means to be discriminated against for one's sex -- I've lived it all my life! The problem is, calling someone 'she' or 'black' does not acknowledge that they have been mistreated, because the vast majority of people sees those terms as markers of human beings who deserve inferior treatment. I talk often about discrimination in various forms, and do so in a constructive way. I cannot see specifying someone's sex or race when it is not part of the conversation as a constructive way of discussing discrimination. I don't ignore people's physical sex/skin or how gender/race concepts affect them; I put the focus on humanity, and discuss femaleness or maleness or race when the conversation is about those topics.
I don't think that you have done anything that I would consider to be causing harm and if you had, I would tell you what it was and why I was concerned. I think some people judge because they can't differntiate between something they personally wouldn't choose for their own life that may be valid for another and something that is a harmful act.
painted_dreams jeff buckley
To be perfectly honest I find your honesty and life refreshing. I don't find anything you say offensive and I am in full support of your lifestyle. You are a very amazing and vibrant person.
Not much I can say that hasn't already been said. You have opened my eyes and mind to alot of things so the only harm you could do would be to stop writing your journal and sharing your beautiful and unique self with us.
This is not at all what you're writing about here, but you deserve to know it: sometimes you unsettle me by making me more aware of my own disconnect from the life I should be living. And I'm sure many others feel the same.
Of course this is far removed from doing harm!
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.