September 2017
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dream (moving: new room, w 'rents; flying; harpy witch & kingdom; falling far; murderous cult)


My sleep schedule was off for like a week and then Thursday I FINALLY got back on track. Didn't last long, because Saturday (today) I had to help my partner pick up zir car from the shop so I stayed up late (as getting up before I've had enough sleep is REALLY difficult for me and I wanted to make sure I was available to help). The car ended up not being ready anyway and now I have to switch my schedule around AGAIN. I'm probably going to try and stay up another 12 hours and then go to bed early. I don't like staying up past when I get sleepy because then I can't think properly and therefore can't do anything fun like read or write or create -- just end up watching shows/movies. And I'm too tired to be active / go out so it's just BLEH.

Also... there's something huge possibly happening tomorrow that I don't want to talk about yet because I want to see what happens first, but it's very on-my-mind. It's bittersweet (bitter selfishly, sweet vicariously). Not even a week ago I told the universe to bring it on -- I wasn't expecting this, though I'm not feeling regret. Just... tension with waiting.

I was renting a small room from from my bioparents, and because of the economy they were going to raise the rent by $100. I wanted to get out of the room I was in, because it had old energy/memories and it was too small for my partner to share with me (we apparently didn't live together yet). So I looked in the basement but my biosibling S had most of the space set up as zir room already, and the space that was left was small and had windows only on one side. But then I discovered that there was a level below that, so I went to check it out. It was very dusty and covered in insulation fibers, and my bioparents' servant who was working down there had these giant lumps all over zir face. (there was a second servant who also had face lumps but they were small, like pimple-to-dime sized, whereas the main servant had mostly quarter-sized lumps) I exclaimed over them and ze said "oh, it's not that big of a deal, that's just what happens when you mess with this stuff but they go away." Kanika was also down there tearing around wildly (as ze does) and I was worried that ze would have inhaled it and gotten sick but ze was fine! and it took the two workers almost NO time to get it all cleaned up and it became this absolutely BEAUTIFUL place, big and open with folding dividers instead of walls, and three walls of almost continuous window that looked out onto this field. I made plans to move in there with my partner, and told my bioparents I'd be happy to pay the extra (they were anticipating a fight over it, but that room won me over). Then my partner and I were hanging out in my original room (we hadn't moved in downstairs yet), and I discovered that I could fly by pushing myself off of the ground (not exactly like a jump) and maintaining it. (my mind was in overdrive trying to figure out how it was working) So I was flying around the room, showing off, all excited, and my partner's like "yeah, I already knew you could fly," just COMPLETELY unfazed.

The scene switched, though we seemed to be in the same building (which had sprung up to be the tallest tower you can imagine). I was at the dinner table with a king, queen, princess, my partner, and an 'evil' harpy witch who had taken over the kingdom. The others were zir prisoners, but I was a guest. The king was a cranky, whiny pain in the ass who had let the kingdom go to rot, the queen was silent, and the princess was a selfish, spoiled rotten 6-year-old. The kingdom was experiencing a drought (which I think the harpy witch was trying to deal with, unsuccessfully). As we were sitting at dinner which the harpy witch had made, the princess says "yeah, it was okay, but it would have been a lot better if there was actually something to drink with it" in just the most malicious way. I felt the sting of it because the harpy had tried really hard to make the food moist enough that one wouldn't need drink. The harpy witch didn't say anything or react outwardly, but I could feel that it was one of those times when a cynical, 'mean' person tries to do something kind and gets spat on for zir troubles.

Everyone went to bed and I went to the top of the tallest tower. I could see these beings that no one else could see; they glowed and had special powers, were supposedly 'ascended' beings. They had another harpy that was locked into a hole in the floor and couldn't move, and they were torturing zir. I realized that the reason that the other harpy was 'evil' (taking over the kingdom and putting a spell on everyone that overrode their free will) was because ze had also been tortured by these beings. I was trying to figure out how to rescue the harpy (sometime around now Aurilion appeared with me) and tower started to crumble and I realized that I couldn't fly after all (I think the 'ascended' beings were preventing me). Aurilion and I fell and fell and fell (it took a LONG time in dream time). I told zir, "pull yourself out of your body" and we did, so that we wouldn't feel it when our bodies hit the ground. We floated down more slowly as our bodies fell really fast -- when our bodies hit the ground I was expecting us to disappear or move on or whatever, but our bodies were just banged up, not dead! We had some cuts, scrapes, and bruises and a broken arm and sprained ankle (don't remember who had what), so we merged with our bodies again and went to a hospital.

The hospital was run by these cultish religious people -- their cult was a mix of all the worst fundamentalist shit, they had a book that was sorta like the Bible but only had some similar verses. When we came in, I had a pen with me (which was actually a purple marker, but in the dream it was called a 'pen') and I was going to write something (filling out a form?) -- but when a nurse saw that I had it, ze snatched it away from me and broke it into four pieces and then stomped on them in zir righteous fury! I was furious so I snatched up one of the pieces and marked zir on the back of the neck (in a "now YOU'RE evil, HAH" type attitude). But they ganged up and got the piece away from me and sent Aurilion and I over to a bed. Then someone came over with a green marker and was telling me how 'pens' were evil, and I was explaining how I didn't know that (with my best 'oops' attitude), and started crying (really out of fury) and apologizing, in an attempt to convince them that I was a good candidate for conversion (until we could escape).

This leader came in to separate the 'wheat from the chaff' and began speaking to the people who were across the room in pews (hospital beds on one side, pews on the other). At this point I muttered to Aurilion, "this is why pens are 'evil,' because if people wrote these things down they would see how wrong it is and leave this cult." There was one family that had a plump child of about 10 years old. The leader separated them and told the family to move one row back and the child to go up to the front. The family obeyed, but the child panicked and refused to leave the row. So the leader decided to make an example of zir, and brought zir over to the bed where Aurilion and I were sitting. At this point I was just crying constantly because I knew what was going to happen, and the people around us were trying to comfort us about what was going to happen (wtf?) saying the usual things like "it's for the best in the long run," and rather less usual things like "You don't have to watch, you just have to listen -- this is something important that you need to witness." So, sitting right behind me, within arms reach, the leader snapped the child's neck. Then they took the child away and everyone went away except for the leader, Aurilion, and me (Aurilion was there but more in the background than anything else). The leader started weeping, and I offered zir a hug. So I held zir while ze cried and cried, and I tried to comfort zir while also convincing zir that it was a mistake not to be repeated; saying things like, "as much as God appreciates sacrifice, maybe ze appreciates sacrifices of food and things (given to the needy) more than human sacrifices." I felt like I got through to zir -- and the whole time, I could feel zir emotions. I could feel how absolutely awful it was to hold a child's head in zir hands and snap zir neck... I could feel how ze hated every moment of it but was honestly trying to do what ze thought was right. And I felt that until ze had felt how awful and wrong that was, ze couldn't realize how awful and wrong the whole cult was.
sounds: Darren Hayes - Feel | Powered by Last.fm
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writer_lilies ══╣Jenius╠══
belenen ══╣dreamy╠══
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.