November 2017
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taking a phone break with Aurilion / blurry-eyed with confusion


I mentioned that I usually talk with Aurilion for an hour or two every day -- this has been our habit for most of our relationship, with a few days off here and there. On the 5th, we decided to try a two-week break from talking, to sort of restart/refresh our relationship. It's been a really intense, confusing, illuminating time (especially as it has overlapped with my post-every-day project AND one of my partner's 6-day 9-9 shifts (AKA hell week)). I'm looking forward to talking again, but I'm nervous, because I don't know where this will lead. I'd really like some clarity on it...

wow. I don't think I have EVER felt so confused in my LIFE as I have the past few weeks. I feel like I'm writhing in endless strands of silk. You know how you have those dreams where you can't quite manage to open your eyes and everything is blurry? That's what it feels like, ugh. I mean, it's not all bad because I like the feeling of emerging into a new self and uncertainty doesn't scare me like it used to but OH is it confusing!

this tiny little thing took me two hours to write :-/


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Comments
acid_burns ══╣ta/ scarlet's walk through the voilets╠══
folkchick3 ══╣Namaste hand╠══
One of many things I admire about you is your openness and commitment to growth - you make the hard decisions if you feel they are the right decisions, and you walk the hard path if you believe it will lead to a better place. Bless you - this time will bring you clarity and growth and illumination, and you will know more about yourself and about each other when it has finished. Your strength is inspiring. If you are ever feeling small, please be reminded that there is a universe of color and beauty and strength and depth in your soul. I think you are amazing.
delicatexflower ══╣esotsm; joel+clem. "constantly talking"╠══

absence makes the heart grow fonder. i know once you hear -her- voice again, it will make everything feel so much better. i admire your courage by doing something like this, it's hard enough to be in a long distance relationship with someone you truly love, but this has to be so so hard. but i know you will love more when this is all done with! ♥
flyingshaman ══╣╠══
I'm looking forward to talking with you again too, babe. And I have some really, really awesome news (that I'll know for sure about Monday or Tuesday) to share with you. Well, I have a lot to share with you because I haven't been able to write about much of it in my journal.

I love you, so much.

I think, ultimately, this two week break of not talking on the phone has been for the best, and for both of our timing and growth periods. I think having a start up again tomorrow is going to be a very rewarding time.
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.