July 2017
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for whom the bell tolls
After we went through the drive-thru, I realized they didn't give us any hot sauce (which is the reason I like taco bell in the first place). So I left Accaber sitting in the car and went in to get some. As I was heading for the door, the teenage boy standing outside looked at me and darted inside, glancing back at me over his shoulder. I thought that was odd, and wondered briefly if he was going inside to warn people that I was coming in. I walked in, and the entire staff was standing near the counter watching me walk in. Even though there were people waiting, the put-the-food-together people just stood and looked at me, and the cashier and drive-thru here-you-go person paused to look at me too. There were at least twelve people staring at me! Flustered, I began to mutter something about having just been through the drive through, and then I saw the bins and went over to grab sauce packets. A tall, heavyset woman standing in the middle of all the people told me she liked my hair, and I said thank you, while stacking packets in one hand. Then she asked if I needed anything, and I said, "just this," and walked back out. They watched me go.

The whole time, I was trying to figure out why they were staring -- I was in this mental knot, feeling like there was something I had done that they recognised me for. As I walked out, my mind told me "well, if I'm going to be a model I'm going to have to get used to being beautiful." That was the first time I thought maybe they stared because I'm attractive and they were bored (I get dumb when embarrassed). I had my hair down, was wearing a thin, tight red shirt, my red-fist earrings and angels jeans, and felt confident.

Still, it was very very strange. Maybe nobody ever actually goes inside that restaurant, just through the drive-thru. Maybe they use the actual store to sell drugs. Maybe these people are all freaked out by long hair. Maybe they were expecting me to whip out a gun (from WHERE?). Maybe I interrupted their seance, where they were calling up the spirit of someone's dead chihuahua. Whatevah.
feelings: amused


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on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.