November 2017
      1 2 3 4
5 6 7 8 9 10 11
12 13 14 15 16 17 18
19 20 21 22 23 24 25
26 27 28 29 30


my first cuddle party! / energy exchange through touch


The cuddle party was amazing! I can't use names because of the confidentiality agreement, so I'll use numbers :D I gave person 1 a backrub; gave person 2 a temples-forehead rub; got a foot massage from person 3; listened to poetry by person 4, danced with person 5 and stroked zir hair; rubbed the arm and back of person 6; exchanged backrubs, held hands, gave a hand massage to, and shared lengthy hugs with person 7; cuddled, held hands with, stroked arms and side, and finger-painted (minus paint) the face of person 8; spooned with person 7 and 8; gave hugs to quite a few others; and puppy-piled & circle-hugged with everyone.

I believe there's an energy exchange involved in touch -- I first realized this when I was massaging a person with MS, and I picked up some of the energy from the disease (I'm assuming, it could have been something else), which overwhelmed me to the point where I had to go in the other room and lay down on the floor (couldn't even make it to the bed), with my ears buzzing so much I couldn't hear, way too dizzy to move. That shook me up! I was a little cautious about touching the head of person 2 (because touching the head/face is the strongest energy exchange) but I felt nothing negative from it (though it could have contributed to my needing alone, grounding time after the party). Person 5 shared strawberry-sweet energy with me when we danced, and when person 7 rubbed my back I felt heat like I've only felt from a skilled energy healer before! Cuddling with person 8 felt like home and flying. Next time I hope to cuddle with new people (though if 7 and 8 are there I will probably spend a lot of time with them again).

My favorite aspect (besides the touch itself) was the asking and answering of questions -- one of the rules was that you had to ask and get a verbal 'yes' from the other person before you did anything (and you had to instantly accept their 'no'). This makes everything feel so much more respectful and mutual -- you're so aware that each interaction is both giving and receiving, and that it's about both people's desires, not one person's. I think consent is something people are not taught, and this is very good practice in consent. I think it's very important to discuss boundaries and desires before acting, and having my boundaries and desires recognized and respected by so many people was very affirming. Not everyone adhered to this with complete strictness, but I think everyone gave it their best shot. I'm really excited about going again.

back to top

Comments
jendaby ══╣╠══
That sounds really interesting! I am glad you had a lovely experience, and that everyone was so polite! I am trying to teach consent and boundaries to my children, and it's tough to teach because the natural instinct is to just reach out an touch what inspires you. My youngest LOVES to touch my face, for example. The best way I have found to teach them is to do my very best to respect their wishes (obviously, I sometimes have to wash their faces when they don't want to have that done, but if I am tickling feet and they say stop, I stop immediately. If I want to give them hugs and they say no, I respect it even if my feelings are hurt.) I hope that the examples will help them to understand. They are young yet, and still trying to grasp some more basic concepts, but I figure you cannot start too young in teaching people how to respect the space of others.

Anyway! *hugs* I hope you have a beautiful week!
moonvoice ══╣quirky - ncis - ziva and gibbs╠══
It makes me so wistful and yearning. I haven't experienced touch like this, in years. Deep down, I am a naturally affectionate person, but one of the ways my unresolved issues manifest is through a 'touch phobia.' It makes me so sad, but also in a vicarious way... nourished to learn that others are still so nourished through it. And it gives me hope.

I am so glad you had a good, respectful, amazing time.
austentatious ══╣╠══
I've heard that parents with newborn infants should spend time each day just touching/massaging their baby so that it can get used to touch. It helps parent/child bonding and exchanges energy.

I'm glad that you had a positive experience. :)
mermaiden ══╣* Home: Faerie╠══
That sounds so intensely beautiful. Wow...just wow. What a blessing to be able to experience and add to that experience. ;-;
frecklestars ══╣adventurous╠══
A cuddle party sounds like a perfectly amazing idea! :D
delicatexflower ══╣love; text. "take my hand.."╠══

omg! ~~ this is so true. i always believed the same thing about touching & holding hands. it's so amazing you got to experience this wonderful & spiritual event! i'm happy for you!
divinemiss_em ══╣╠══
A lot of what you describe about energy through touch sounds like what I´ve heard about Reiki. If you energy so easily (not the word I want to use, as i´m sure its anything but easy), then you could absolutely heal people through Reiki.

The Cuddle Party sounds amazing! It must be such a strange feeling to be immersed in non-sexual touch with strangers.

oh, and

strawberry sweet energy. That´s beautiful.
xenopsi ══╣╠══
Wow! Thank you for sharing your experiences. I wonder if something like this would be good for me since I'm working on opening up, physically. At least with the people I'm closest to. Either way, this cuddle party idea is just amazing.
ed209uardo ══╣╠══
... From the sounds of it, I assume Goran was the facilitator? I was too worn out from White Water to go... *sigh*
tralfamadore ══╣dewdrop on a petal╠══
How interesting! Just this past week I was a part of a discussion about consent to hug. Someone had said that it was the responsibility of the person being hugged to state that they preferred not to be touched, while most others in the discussion believed that a person should not be hugged in the first place without being expressly asked and having given consent. The discussion progressed to people discussing their own feelings toward hugging, whether or not they like it, when they feel it is appropriate, and things of that measure. I'm still grappling with my own feelings about physical touch and hugging, and I found the questions to be very difficult to answer for that reason.

It's so intriguing to me, the idea of a space where cuddles are given so freely, but yet not without the express permission of everyone involved. To be able to be in utter control of yourself, while yet at the same time allowing someone else to have hold over your body... it seems like the ultimate in boundary-setting and free expression. Incredible. I would absolutely love to be a part of something like this one day, and your own depiction of the events only sets fuel to that fire of desire.
xochitl ══╣╠══
There was a cuddle party at Frolicon this year; I didn't go, but a few of my friends enjoyed it. :)
saturnsdaughter ══╣╠══
This sounds like a really pleasant experience :)

I like that boundaries were established and largely respected. I find them hard to set up without worrying about offending people in my daily life. Logically I know I shouldn't have to justify a need for personal space, but I'm bad at making my feelings known.
deleon ══╣╠══
And where did you find a "Cuddle Party"?
djibril14 ══╣heruhawk and mayet essence╠══
what a horrbile event for me to have missed. well, horrible for the missing, not horrible itself, cause it sounds fantab really
kiwi ══╣╠══
Your response to the Cuddle Party is what I aspire for. I went to one out here many moons ago, back when I decided I was going to "cure" myself of all my past ills if it was the last thing I'd do. While the experience was beneficial to me and I did learn to open up a bit, I do think that it was too much too soon, especially as a historically non-touchy person.

But it's something I want to work on - for my future career, for my current job, for my relationships, both with the love of my life and my friends - so your reaction is inspiring to me.
girlslovegirls7 ══╣╠══
i wish i were there
sidheblessed ══╣╠══
The emphasis on consent really appeals to me. I find it a huge turn on when someone asks me before even hugging me - that's respect for boundaries!

I am so glad you enjoyed the cuddle party.
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.