July 2017
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visiting Red Top with Wade, photos! / Wade's energy and our connection / touch and boundaries


Last Tuesday I went out with Wade -- we went walking at Red Top Mountain (and I got some photos which were SO amazing that I want prints!) and talked about everything and kissed a lot and I wish I'd written about that day right afterward because it has blurred since then :-/ But I remember that ze laughs when happy (not just with amusement) which I LOVE and which is pretty rare and which all of my current love-interests do :D (though it confuses me with new people because I'm so not used to it!) And ze laughs with wild abandon when amused (we watched a very silly but somehow awesome movie -- "Yes Man"). And when I reach for cuddles ze responds instantly and exactly the same amount -- to this perfect balance that is really fun to find. Usually people respond with just a little less and occasionally with more, and those two feel really different. I've never hit a perfect balance before. And it's not just the intensity, it's the tone. I wish I could explain it better.







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Wade noticed this serpent and pointed it out to me -- I wasn't paying much attention to my surroundings at first, heh, just focused on holding hands and being in the forest and talking/listening ♥ (I want to be a snake and sleep in a tree!)

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Wade asked to use my camera and to my surprise I let zir (I'm a bit overprotective of my camera and usually won't let other people touch it) -- ze directed me to peer through the tree and took this ;-)

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you can't tell from this photo but that mushroom was iridescent!

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Wade! whose hair is down to zir waist, preeeetty. (f-locked because I haven't yet asked if I can share photos of zir)

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I LOVE this one.

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I find wild arches to be so magical (though they never photograph well)

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♥!

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am quite proud of this one.

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*snuggles up* (this is my new desktop)

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Zir energy is really strange to me, impossible to put into words. I told zir that ze was mysterious to me, which is very unusual -- usually if someone mystifies me it's because they're guarding but Wade really isn't. Ze's open but... very twisty? I can't squint and see through the trees, I have to just follow the path to see what is next. I feel some kind of ethereal connection but I have no idea what it is. Yet. However, I did sense one of zir spirit shapes VERY strongly -- ze is such a tiger, ohmygod.

Touch-wise, Wade is initiatory while also being very respectful -- ze pays close attention to my reactions and asks questions if unsure of zir interpretation. (and Anita does the same thing!) I'm so not used to that! I try to stay very aware of my feelings and express them clearly, but it makes it so much more relaxing and safe-feeling when the other person looks for my boundaries. 'Cause it takes a good bit of energy for me to be aware of my own boundaries body-wise since touch makes me high and then I find it hard to be aware of more than sensation&connection and my boundaries are not walls, they're membranes -- they can be pushed without being broken (but if I let that happen too much it will trigger me so I try to guard them).


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on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.