October 2017
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illness and stresssss


I've been ill-ish for the past two days -- not sure what set it off but yesterday I ended up puking at school (ughhh) and since then my stomach has felt very defensive so I've been eating smushy foods that my system is used to, in the hopes that it won't get cranky again. I have two exams tomorrow and I'm quite nervous about them which is why I'm "studying" (haha!). I'm wondering if this stomach-thing is stress-induced... I can't stop thinking about how I have to make at least a B average to get the HOPE scholarship and I've never worried about grades before in my life, except in classes where I didn't try. Now I'm trying, but feel like my best efforts will somehow not be enough. It doesn't help that I started out almost three weeks behind everyone else because I didn't have the books, agh. I really hope I can calm down enough to focus. Why can't we just have an occasional "what did you learn from this" essay? I know I could do well at that -- I pay attention and I learn, dammit.

Also Anita is visiting zir parent in [Mississippi? Missouri? some M-state] and Chip and Christa and the kids went on a camping trip, so it's just Kim and I here and the house feels SO WEIRD all quiet like this.

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Comments
kmiotutsie ══╣╠══
In Chinese medicine, the emotion "worry" and the organ "stomach" are pretty much the same. So yah. Deep breaths!!
belenen ══╣eccentric╠══
*takes deep breaths*

I also discovered that laughing helps a LOT. So I watched several episodes of "Hot In Cleveland" which is silly but actually funny, and it relaxed me enough to focus ;-)
frecklestars ══╣dizzy | dazzling╠══
You can only try as hard as you can. If you keep thinking "I have to try harder, I have to try harder" you're going to drive yourself crazy. It sounds completely impossible, but try not to focus on how you need to try harder and harder. Just _do_.

Also, I would encourage you to share your concerns with the professor(s). Any time one of my students comes to me with concerns like that, I'll try to help. (Which, IMO, is what good teachers will do.)

Every time I start freaking out about stuff, I tell myself "Chop wood and carry water". In other words, focus wholly on the thing you are doing, not the outcome, not the past, not the dreaded "what if". Just do the thing you are doing. Don't even think about doing it the best you can do it (that's where I get tripped up - writing grad school papers I keep thinking "ok, this has to be a masterpiece and I must wow the professor so much they'll just gimme my PhD already". But that's not how it works. And not everything has to be perfect.)

*cuddles*

Also, how nuts would it be if I flew down Thanksgiving weekend? Too crazy of a plan? :P
tangledaxon ══╣╠══
Every time I start freaking out about stuff, I tell myself "Chop wood and carry water". In other words, focus wholly on the thing you are doing, not the outcome, not the past, not the dreaded "what if".

This is fantastic advice. I'm going to echo it.

You can do this, Bel!
belenen ══╣nuzzle╠══
thank you J! hey, I dreamed about you last night. It was so strange! Someone referred to you by my birth name and I was like "that is so odd, I keep forgetting your birth name! Also, oddly, I have another letter-name friend whose birth name was my birth name." then there was some stuff about skydiving and planting seeds ;-)
belenen ══╣adoring╠══
*cuddles back*

thanks for the sweet comment! I discovered that laughing helps me a lot and I plan to keep that in mind next time :D

it would be AWESOME but I'm planning to go to Florida with the whole family. Not sure if we're going the week before or the week after though, so if we ARE getting back day after thanksgiving then perhaps! let me find out and let you know :D

I know we'll be here for Christmas and I would adorrrrrrrrrre to have you come then!
frecklestars ══╣bouncing╠══
Fair enough. I will look at trips around xmas and see if I can't squeeze you a few days in December in combination with my always-massive California trip.
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.