July 2017
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polyamory & titles


There's not a good word for me to call the people I'm romantic with. This only bugs me when I'm wanting to be "out" about a relationship without a long explanation or any problematic words. "Girl/boyfriend" is gendered, "partner/spouse" to me implies lifelong-shared-goal-commitment, "lover/amour/paramour" sounds like it's just a fling or like it's cheating, "significant other" is clinical and feels distancing, and almost all of these imply that they are the only one. Obviously words that imply hierarchy are out (like "primary"). I actually quite like calling someone my person, but that also implies "only," and it sounds possessive to some people. I think I'm going to have to just resign myself to saying "lover" or "live-in lover" (and letting the polyness show itself?) and hoping I can change the connotation, because calling someone I'm romantic with a "friend" feels like a lie, but the others are worse.

Suggestions? particularly for words that imply "one of" instead of "only" without sounding like one doesn't have individual connection? Obscure words (IF they are non-gendered and non-cheaty) are very welcome.


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on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.