October 2017
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what I need to live, to cope, and to thrive: notes for self-care and usermanual reference


Things I need to be alive:
enough sleep -- about 7 hours a night
at least 64 oz of clean water a day
healthy, live food with enough protein and potassium and little bad stuff
physical activity (doesn't have to be intense, just has to be enough to get my blood all freshened up)
sunlight (Georgia usually gives me enough but I have to seek it out in the winter)
the freedom to be alone as often as I like, for as long as I like
meaningful connection with other humans

Things to help me cope when I'm having a hard time:
watching something that makes me laugh without making me hate the world (a hard thing to find!)
distraction by pretty things (movies with beautiful settings, Guild Wars 2)
going out and getting coffee, then enjoying it somewhere other than home
going out in nature, especially if someone else drives to the place, especially around big trees
tidying my space, especially with company
shopping for used books and/or crafting supplies
being petted, especially receiving foot rubs
someone holding space for me to be sad/hurting

Things I need to be completely fulfilled (I can live without any of these things but if too many are missing, I will slowly be drained of all energy):
people I love (who also make me feel safe) asking me prying questions
active connection with spirit-kin (like Topaz, Hannah, Kylei)
active connection with heart-kin (like Serenity, Sande, Sydney, Arizona)
active connection with soul-kin (like Kat, Adi, Nea, Heather, Felix)
active connection with mind-kin (like Kate, Elizabeth, Allison, Cass)
thoughtful, emotionally-present and mutually-generous cuddles at least 4 hours per week
emotionally-present kissing and/or sex with someone I'm (mutually) in love with
regular, emotionally-present eye contact with people I love and trust
a self-date at least once a week for at least five hours
writing in my journal at least every other day
making art at least monthly
productive crafty parties
intimacy practices
consciously opening my spiritual awareness, regularly
being effusively loving and close with multiple people
taking photos (incl. and esp. self-portraits) or making fractals at least weekly, and sharing them at least monthly
being 'out' in as many ways as possible to as many people as possible (any hiding makes me feel less myself)
going to see live music at least every other month, preferably monthly
listening to my favorite artists at least 8 hours a week (in the car or at home)
raising plant babies
having a tidy home and car

(inspired by rextrocular's usermanual post)

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Comments
shioneh ══╣╠══
*nods* thank you for sharing this. One of the things I've learnt from you is that self care, and not just cursory, basic level self-care but involved full self-nurturing is more than just a mere luxury - that looking after your needs as thoroughly as this post outlines shouldn't feel like an occasional treat like a birthday but a continuous thing. You are a brave being, bel-love. I will come back to this post again. *nervously posts, not used to commenting on a mobile but hoping it might lead to being more responsive to posts by allowing her to be where she wants to be to reply*
acid_burns ══╣lucky thirteen╠══


You are wonderful.
rextrocular ══╣╠══
the freedom to be alone as often as I like, for as long as I like

I would just like to say that this is very wise, and resonates greatly with me. I've been in situations where I didn't necessarily need alone time, but the fact that it was unavailable to me felt terrible and stifling.

So, I'm stealing it and adding it to mine. <3
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.