July 2017
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Jayuses, poo, farts, and sheer absurdities.
a 'jayus' is "a joke so poorly told and so unfunny that one cannot help but laugh.”

I love these. They're probably my favorite kind of joke, especially if there's poop or farts involved. My friend Adi would sometimes randomly, in a high-pitched over-the-top "I'm being adorable" tone, squat slightly and say "poops!" and I always laughed. My friend Kylei would make the most painfully obvious puns and I would groan, and then laugh. My lover Topaz and I ate some old eggs and had the worst farts in the history of life, and I think we laughed more that night than any other night (in between burying our faces in pillows). But by far the best of all is "the badkidsjokes tumblr." I'll laugh until I cry at that one. Here are some of my favorites:

What Smells Bad And Putts People To Sleep
Uh…Tear Gas
NO. Your bottem

There were three guys on a plane.
One bit into an apple, thought it was too sweet. He threw it out the window.
The second guy bit into a rock.

what do you call peach that has a line on it?
butt fruit

why shoudnt you go to the fridge without permition
because it will come for its revenge

how did the man clibed the ifful towoer
becase his butt was on fire

why did the poo cross the road
becuse he needed to find a toilit so he did not have a baby poo in public

man: you are evil
other man: i am not
man:yes
no
yes
no
yes
no
yes
no
yes
no
[both mans die]

Q:why did the monkey fall out the tree
A:because it was DEAD

and absurd misreads like this one absolutely slay me.

(for LJ Idol topic 1: Jayus)
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on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.