July 2017
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dream (up rickety staircase, down in elevator) / frustration w/ too heavenly minded for earthly good


Last night I dreamed of a place I've been at least twice before in dreams: a VERY tall house (I've never seen the ceiling) with an open, windowed side allowing a balcony on every level of the house. Like before, there was a staircase twisting up and up through open air. (like a cross between this, this, and this) I climbed and climbed and felt I had gotten halfway before the stairs started to grow narrower and get rickety, and instead of being connected to the wall every half-story, they just went up unconnected to anything, swaying, with no railings. I realized this and decided that I needed to go back down to warn people about the need to support the staircase, so I got off at that level to take the elevator (for speed). I walked in and looked around only to realize that there were no buttons and I had no power over where the elevator went. I started to panic but then blimeyzawn1 pressed the button to call the elevator and I flung my arm through the opening and warned them not to get on. I got off and took the twin elevator down -- checking from the outside to see if it had buttons (it did). Then my alarm went off, super frustrating because I wanted to find out what happened next.

Stairs are a very important symbol to me dream-wise, though I hate them in real life (most of the time a ramp would be better AND more accessible!); in dreams they usually mean progression, that I am growing in some area. I felt like there was something deeper about this dream so I looked up elevator and stairs. dreammoods.com says that climbing stairs is a symbol of transformation, progressing, growth, that being stuck on a broken elevator is a reference to being stuck in life, and descending in an elevator can symbolize being grounded. The shortest part of the dream was the 'stuck' part, which I think is relevant. The more I think about this dream the more I feel like it's related to the discomfort I have with most spiritual people being "too heavenly-minded to do any earthly good."

Yesterday I went to a spiritual gather of people who focus entirely on the mind and the inner world. They feel that the highest good for all is to come into a greater spiritual awareness; this is a huge movement with many followers, most of whom are fairly wealthy from what I can tell (explaining more would give away what kind of group it is). They give to the community but ONLY in non-physical ways. They do wish for everyone to have access to their spiritual tools and are willing to help in some ways (which is sadly unusual), but their concern stops there. I find this really problematic, and a common attitude among spiritual and/or artistic people. I feel that the rickety staircase with no supports was a reference to that; me getting off the staircase was my psyche telling me that I shouldn't invest more in this group. The problem is that there is so little community for people who want to engage in spirituality AND in social justice. Marx's attitude that "abolition of religion (often extrapolated to spirituality) as the illusory happiness of the people is the demand for their real happiness" is really common among the social justice folk I know, and the few who do have a spiritual practice have a solitary one. I keep trying to find something that is local, free (because otherwise is classist as fuck and 'suggested donations' make it NOT FREE), that cares both about spirituality and about practicing justice now. I suppose I could offer something at my house, but I feel like I don't have enough skills to do that by myself. I feel like my psyche is pushing for me to do something, but so far I haven't come up with an idea that seems workable.

(submitted for LJ idol topic 2: the missing stair)


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on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.