December 2017
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TBC 2014: workshop 1 (panel discussion on disability)


The first panel I went to was a discussion of disability. I think the most surprising thing I took from that discussion was a feeling of affirmation/solidarity about my ADD-PI. I didn't really think of it as a disability because I am relatively privileged and only recently diagnosed but when the person on the panel with a similar disability discussed the lack of access that comes packaged with a noisy room or even two people talking at once, I realized how often that affects my life. If someone talks while the professor is talking it takes a monumental act of will to hear the professor. If I'm in a social gathering and there is a TV or music with lyrics on (especially lyrics I haven't heard before or problematic lyrics which jar my brain), I mostly can't hear anyone unless we're talking one on one and I can read their lips and facial expressions to fill in the gaps. If two people talk at once and I'm not prepared I can't parse out either of them. If someone talks to me and I am not expecting it I will not notice 90% of the time, even if they call my name (it usually takes 2 or 3 times for me to realize). I don't know how much of my listening is actually watching. For a while I thought maybe I'm hard of hearing. Anyway, hearing this person discuss their disability made me feel validated and permitted to ask for the courtesy of repetition at least with friends.

Side note: the worst thing is when I ask someone to repeat what they said and they say it exactly as quietly or quickly as they did the first time, or they edit what they said. I want people to say it again, a little louder and clearer, and NOT CHANGE IT because otherwise I either have to ask again, or I feel left out and fixated on the thing I missed.

I don't have time to write more right now but there were 11 workshops I went to plus two events and I want to write about them all. Soon, I hope!

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Comments
classical_wolf ══╣╠══
I'm glad the first workshop was positive for you :) ...and iocn love! ♥
bunnika ══╣me: animated╠══
I never considered myself disabled until I became mobility impaired, which is pretty ridiculous since I've learned more about what makes a disability. I've been legally blind my whole life, for example, but I was so used to compensating for it that I never really thought about how much it impacted me. I've got a whole freaking slew of disabilities that I never acknowledged as disabilities.

At the same time, being mobility impaired has made me extremely sensitive to exactly how far apart mobility impairments are from other disabilities. I am so extremely lucky to still have walking ability; as someone who's been a near full-time wheelchair user in the past, it's an entirely different world from the walking one. It's why it's so important for people within the disabled community to respect that having one disability doesn't mean we aren't privileged over other disabled people.
cheshire23 ══╣╠══
Sounds like some of what you may have going on, possibly as a component of the ADD, is an auditory processing problem. It's a feature of my ADHD at times, and my younger daughter has the auditory processing issues in much more severe form than I do. I share them enough to be able to predict meltdowns and understand them when they're happening.

And yes, this is part of why being in an independent living center was such a good field placement for me - both my ADHD and my mobility issues were met with understanding and I wasn't expected to be a "normal" person counseling people who weren't. I could disclose my own disabilities and act as more of a peer, which was amazing.
tralfamadore ══╣Hannibal - bloody shirt╠══
Side note: the worst thing is when I ask someone to repeat what they said and they say it exactly as quietly or quickly as they did the first time, or they edit what they said. I want people to say it again, a little louder and clearer, and NOT CHANGE IT because otherwise I either have to ask again, or I feel left out and fixated on the thing I missed.

Yes, yes, yes. As someone who is hard of hearing, this gets me so badly. Though unfortunately, it seems most common that the person will just say, "Never mind," and refuse to repeat the remark at all. I've had so many people tell me that it wasn't that important in the first place, or that it doesn't matter anyway. Practically nothing gets under my skin as badly as that does. Even if you think the statement wasn't all that important, it takes less time to simply repeat it more clearly than to argue about why you're not going to, and make me feel stupid and isolated in the process.

I've also had a lot of people tell me that they can't speak any louder, when I know this isn't the case. There's nothing that actually physically impedes them from doing so. While I understand that some people's shyness makes them hesitant to speak up, I can't even say how frustrating it is to me when people just shrug and say they're a quiet talker and there's nothing to be done about it.
ladywind ══╣moonbathing╠══
(putting this into my memories folder because it's the first time I've ever heard somebody else talk about having Things like the ones I've got. The lip/facereading-to-process-conversation-in-chaos, the music-will-catch-my-attention-away-from-speech, the not-responding-to-my-name... Telephone conversations end me.
Huh.
A thing to look into. Thank you for the line on it!)
raidingparty ══╣╠══
Ditto! Didn't think about it being attention-related, though.
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.