December 2017
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unsent letter to Aurilion


icon: "tenebrous"

[letter]Aurilion,
You broke my heart. How could you, how could you? You lied to me, deceived me, for months and when I got upset about it you attacked me, and cut me off yet again instead of dealing with it (after declaring again and again that you wouldn't abandon me this time). I've realized that that was probably the first time I directly called you on anything. How can you live with this? How can you be so okay with treating me like shit?

I was okay for a while; after all, I don't want to be treated like shit, so being cut off from someone doing that is an improvement. But faced with reminders, I realize just how deep this goes. I trusted you so much. I thought you cared more about me than about being right. How could you do this? I have never ever been attacked deliberately by someone I was spiritually connected to, except you. I can't even imagine someone else I trust doing this. I really thought you would never do such a thing. You crushed me.

I feel my heart is wounded. If I had wounded you, nothing would have been more urgent to me than to do all I could to help you heal. It breaks my faith in heart connections that you don't seem to care at all.

I hope I can find a way to heal from this. I feel poisoned.


connecting: ,

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Comments
tarakins42 ══╣╠══
This sounds sad, I'm so sorry!! ::hugs::
kmiotutsie ══╣╠══
agh, bel! I'm so sorry to see this :( If I can offer you any support, please don't hesitate to call me <3
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.