October 2017
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8 9 10 11 12 13 14
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
22 23 24 25 26 27 28
29 30 31


if someone shares their vulnerability w you, to use it against them is evil, blasphemy of intimacy


icon: "snarling"

To deliberately use someone's vulnerabilities against them is to commit a great blasphemy against intimacy. Anyone who is willing to do that under ANY circumstances is not someone who deserves my trust. I consider it to be a deep emotional violation, as much the inverse of positive sharing as stabbing is the inverse of petting.

I think I am capable of hitting someone in rage; it's not likely, but if they are attacking someone I care about, or if I cannot escape and cannot otherwise stop them from hurting me, I might hit a person. I do not think there is any way I could possibly use a vulnerability shared with me in trust to attack someone. That is fucking evil. I wouldn't do it to the person I hate most in the world. I wouldn't do it to the fucking Koch brothers, and I'd cheerfully watch them drown.

back to top

Comments
kehlen_crow ══╣seasonal - winter - Elena╠══
It absolutely is so. Knowing someone's vulnerability is a great honour and just as great a responsibility.
(Anonymous) ══╣╠══
I'm so wholeheartedly with you on this. Vulnerability gets to essence, to the good in a person, and that is soul level abuse.
(Anonymous) ══╣╠══
(Lilywolfsolomon from my not logged in phone)
ssjspider ══╣trainspotting╠══
I think I am capable of hitting someone in rage; it's not likely, but if they are attacking someone I care about, or if I cannot escape and cannot otherwise stop them from hurting me, I might hit a person

I have zero problem with this. You're amazing that you can restrain yourself, I avoid confrontation like the plague cuz if anyone touches me or even one of my friends, I'll tackle 'em. To quote Leslie Knope from the wonderful show Parks and Recreation, "But in my defense, I believe that assault should be legal if a person is a jerk." and I agree, that's bullshit, people can be so heartless :(
basil_00 ══╣clash╠══
I'd love to see them drown as well.
Are you talking about emotional vulnerabilities?
and/or insecurities?
and/or secrets shared?

I'm normally pretty non-physical in conflict as well. But I have similar possible exceptions to those you've mentioned, and I have had two of them come up.

In the first one, I was with my older brother and his friends for $2 Long Island night at a bar in Madison. On the walk home, someone in the group saw people out on their porch, and innocuously referenced Hey Arnold with the quote "Stoop Kid's afraid to leave his stoop." I don't know if the guy thought he'd said "stupid", or was just a prick, or whatever, but a fight soon ensued between us and them. I was not a part of it to begin with, as there were like 8 of us and 2 of them, but eventually my brother got involved, and I watched with drastically more concern. Then the guy started to get the better of my brother, and I pulled him off and pinned him to the street, and kinda ground my forearm into his chin. That's when the cops pulled up and I got a disorderly conduct.

I was only trying to break it up, or so I thought. My brother later told me that I had punched him several times. I don't know if it was tunnel vision or the long islands (there weren't very many), but I did not recall striking the guy once.

The other time, I had been drinking with friends in Menomonie, and at the end of the night back at his house, some other asshole came home and mentioned the rope-light hung across the ceiling. Merry and somewhat drunk, I responded with "that's your dad's ropelight" (at the time I was particularly fond of making obnoxious your dad jokes rather than the more common your mom jokes). He was on coke I think, and quickly he retorted with a "what the fuck did you just say", "wanna take it outside", and escalatingly hot comments and threats, until he approached me in the chair where I was sitting, and started swinging at my head. I put my forearms out in an 'X' in front of me, trying to get between each of his punches and my head, but after maybe 20-30 punches thrown, and maybe 3 landed to the cranium, I pushed him back and stood from the chair, got in a sugar foot stance, and clenched my fists. I didn't want a concussion, so it was going to have to stop somehow, and I had finally been convinced that I was going to have to be the one to stop him. That's when the dumb fuckers watching finally broke it up.
belenen ══╣artless╠══
Re: I'd love to see them drown as well.
yes, yes, and yes. Especially stuff like when someone says "I feel really insecure/scared/sad about this." You just don't fucking use that against them!

I think those are both reasonable causes to hit someone.
basil_00 ══╣╠══
Re: I'd love to see them drown as well.
Mmkay, I just wanted to make sure you weren't talking about a specific subset of these possibilities. And curious if I missed some.

I agree, they're all bullshit to use as leverage or fuel in fight.

And, swell. I'm glad these are the only instances of fist-fighting I've been involved in. Not that the second was really a fight. Yet. And it offers me the opportunity to share the anecdote that the two phrases that have started fights in my life have been "stoop kid's afraid to leave his stoop" and "that's your dad's rope light". Haha. They're not really fighting words. Both tangles shouldn't even have happened.
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.