October 2017
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my hobby: watching other people's friendships


icon: "intrigued (a photo of a snow leopard with ears to the side and eyes intent, peering over a log)"

I love social media especially LJ for the way it lets me watch the development of other relationships. Oftentimes if I am on the fence about someone, it will be their interaction with someone else that make me decide one way or the other about whether or not I should invest in them. If someone is unkind to my friend, they're unlikely to be a decent friend to me. If someone expresses understanding and empathy to my friend, I feel affection for that person and desire to connect more with them. I like this in my real-time conversations as well, but people don't often remember to tell me or even realize I want to know. I'm always curious about my friends' interactions with each other.

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Comments
wildrose ══╣╠══
webgirluk ══╣pic#118113725╠══
Me too. I'm really curious over the relationships of my friends and love observing people interactions on here or facebook. I can spend hours discussing and thinking about this. I love it when friends are open in this area and enjoy discussing their relationships.
fragbert ══╣Open Mind╠══
"...it will be their interaction with someone else that make me decide one way or the other about whether or not I should invest in them."

I do this too! I have quietly cut ties with people who've never been anything but nice to me, but have interacted negatively with others (both online and off), because I have found that once they're done abusing those others, it's going to be my turn eventually.

This kind of goes hand-in-hand with the observation that if someone is constantly deriding others while in your presence, chances are they're doing the same thing to you when you're not around.
c_hrista ══╣face╠══
True this. You can learn a lot about people by how they treat their peers.
fragbert ══╣╠══
Yup, and even more by how they treat animals, the wait staff in a restaurant, and anyone in the service industry in general.
c_hrista ══╣╠══
I love that you pointed this out because it's true. Also CHILDREN.
sidheblessed ══╣╠══
Yes, this exactly.
meri_sielu ══╣misty turkey vulture╠══
I do a lot of this too, if someone I previously thought a lot of is unkind to a friend of mine then it can really impact my opinion of them and their standing with me.
sidheblessed ══╣╠══
Me too! You learn much more about a person from how they treat others than from how they describe themselves.
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.