July 2017
            1
2 3 4 5 6 7 8
9 10 11 12 13 14 15
16 17 18 19 20 21 22
23 24 25 26 27 28 29
30 31


once again I face my parentlessness.
Just talked with my dad — my biological father, at least. This may seem greedy and mercenary, but I’m hurt now by his choice in spending. He’s always spent money on the rest of the family and himself and never on me. I don’t know why. Anyway, he offered Ben and I $2,000 in 4 installments for our wedding, and our wedding present is whatever’s left of that money after we cover expenses. We don’t intend to have an expensive wedding, but that’s a tight budget. And now he tells me that today he’s buying a truck. Right now. That really hurt. If my daughter was getting married and had no money, I sure as hell would give her all I could spare, and I guarantee he’s spending more per month on his new truck than he’s offering me. I’d at least put off buying the truck for a few months. Granted, he’s been wanting this truck for 3 years... still. And yet he acts all offended that I don’t share my life with him. He doesn’t share anything with me, what makes him think I owe him? I don’t. And I don’t care what anyone says, if I had my heart’s desire he’d have no more a role in my wedding than to sit in a pew. That’s the role he’s had in my life; why is my wedding different? I’ll tell ya; people are watching this.

I wanna be able to say truthfully that I don't care how my bio'rents act or feel about me.
feelings: cynical


back to top

on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.