August 2017
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dream (billy bob thornton)


warning: if you've ever been sexually harrassed or anything, this may be triggering, so ... be cautious. (it's not horrible, just bad.)

At first I was in a castle with some friends, and there was an urgent technical thing that had to be dealt with in the lowest reaches of the castle. To do this, we had to go down in a stone elevator. At the last second, I had a really strong feeling that I should NOT go down or something bad would happen to me, so I hastily crawled out as the elevator was descending and just escaped getting a foot chopped off.
I went into the kitchen to set the timer, because my friends had to be brought up in exactly 30 minutes or they would run out of air. Then BB came up to me with a long steel spatula, wrapped his arms around me and pulled the back of my pants down. He wanted to spank me, but I snatched the spatula away and pulled my pants back up. Somehow I knocked him on the floor and began trying to kill him by sawing at his neck with the edge of the spatula, but it was too dull to do much damage. He didn't try to stop me because he thought I wasn't strong enough to do damage, and for some reason he was aroused and amused by my attempts to kill him. My friends were his friends too, so I mentioned that we didn't want to let them die (noting that my watch said 27 minutes had passed), and he said that I was right and 'we' should go ahead and 'get this over with' -- and he made a move to start sitting up. At this point I realized that if I raised my arms over my head and chopped at his neck with the spatula it would probably crush his trachea and suffocate him, so I did so. Then I went to call 911 in case he was or wasn't dead, and THEN I wondered if he was actually going to rape me, or if he just thought he was 'having fun' -- and I felt guilty for not warning him that I was going to kill him if he didn't stop.
I woke up.

During the whole dream I was praying, and I kept expecting for him to reach for me and not be able to touch me, but that didn't happen.
feelings: confused
connecting:


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x_wildhoney ══╣╠══
jedibubbles ══╣╠══
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.