November 2017
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icon: "curious (my face, looking straight forward with one eyebrow up and a sideways smile, head tilted down a little)"

I've been wondering...

Poll #2027008 facebook habits/etiquette

when do you friend people on facebook?

after you meet them in person, no conversation necessary
2(14.3%)
after you have talked with them briefly
4(28.6%)
after you know them well
4(28.6%)
after you asked them if you could friend them and they said yes
2(14.3%)
never - you only let people friend you
2(14.3%)

what criteria do you use to friend people?


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Comments
slinkslowdown ══╣╠══
None of the options really fit, but I picked what was closest...

I mostly let other people add me first.

But when I do add somebody else, it varies. Sometimes I have to add someone I barely know because we end up admins of a group together. Sometimes I add someone I've interacted with on and/or off of FB regularly for days or even months. It depends on the specific person involved.
kehlen_crow ══╣╠══
I use a pseudonym so only real life people I invite could find me, and I mostly friend people I have known for a while on other social sites like LJ and Twitter, so as not to lose them completely.

I don't accept friends requests from complete strangers, or if by chance it is a co-worker or someone I don't want to let in on my online activities. Luckily this is rare, because I don't advertise my online self, I don't feel the need to.

I don't like Facebook, I don't feel comfortable there to be open (I feel more so on Twitter even though my account is public), and I hate it when people grow too lazy to blog and only appear there. Too many do it these days.
fragbert ══╣╠══
I don't have a Facebook, nor will I ever.
webgirluk ══╣╠══
I'll generally add anyone on facebook "from online" at least. So for me anyone I loosely know from here or forums and so on I would be okay with, unless I happen to be uncomfortable with them for some reason. I think for me I tend to change thoughts based more on what area of life the person comes from. For example, I don't really have work people or people from school on Facebook and my criteria would go up in those areas of life, I think.

I tend to see my journal as more private than Facebook but I think many others see it in reverse, maybe due to the various branches of life added. I guess people can be anyone on LJ but fb a real identity.
call_me_katya ══╣Red Riding Hood╠══
None of these exactly match me so I've clicked one option that seemed to suit what I've been doing recently.

Often I do wait for people to add me. I feel a little thrill if someone I have been considering adding adds me first. I'll add people first if I feel I've waited 'long enough' [this varies] and I feel adding them might add to my social circle, if I'm curious and would like to talk with them more. Although if I'm supercurious about them I sometimes hold back, in case adding them lets them know, because I am shy about letting people know I'm curious about them!

Recently though, after being in Dublin for the poetry I added a few poets I'd only had brief chats with, in the hope that they would remember me in a sort of attempt to foster networking. Some didn't accept, which is fair enough! So I clicked 'after I have talked with them briefly' as my answer.
soundofsunlight ══╣╠══
It was hard to pick, because I'm somewhere in between "have talked briefly" and "know them well"; I would want more than a brief conversation, but I will add people even if I don't know them well, if I feel like we could be friends. If I do feel like that, I may wait a bit and then ask if I can friend them on facebook.

ETA after reading other people's criteria: I will also add people if a trusted mutual friend believes we would get along well.
raidingparty ══╣╠══
I also have two FaceBook-only friends, and one business contact, that I've never met in person.
raidingparty ══╣╠══
Wait, three! You're on there too.
kmiotutsie ══╣╠══
My general rule is that facebook friendship is only appropriate after a minimum of TWO genuine interactions. Generally this would just look like two real conversations, or enough online communique that one irl conversation would be totally acceptable (or enough internet communique that irl conversation isn't necessary for fb friendship, in the case of primarily internet friends).

Exceptions are made to this rule frequently, when traveling or meeting traveling people, or if someone requests my friendship whom I sort of know from around and just barely met who requests me because why not and stuff like that, but very generally it's two legitimate interactions & then we're good :)
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.