October 2017
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hi new friends! PSA about slurs


icon: "Ma'at (a photo of one side of a brass balance scale, with a feather inside the bowl. The background is sky blue. On the bottom of the image, below the photo, is the word "Ma'at")"

I recently added some new people here: welcome! I'm gonna re-post some important info for y'all, as I am too anxious with strangers to have individual conflicts, generally.

Language is extremely important; it shapes our thoughts. If you value using any word that comes to mind without considering the consequences, we won't get along. There are a lot of commonly-used words which cause a lot of harm. The most common that I come across are probably st*pid, l*me, b*tch, cr*zy, and ins*ne. I've written a lot about this:

slurs are still very harmful when they are aimed at a situation/action/thing instead of a person / TW: slurs
we can't be friends if you use slurs because it damages me & breaks my trust in you / TW: slurs
slurs are both harmful and not expressive: say what you actually mean instead / TW: slurs

Other language issues that I object to and will unfriend people over include using rape 'jokes' or referring to stereotypes like they are fact (such as saying that girls like pink or that being assertive is masculine). Making light of rape is harmful. Affirming stereotypes is harmful. If I haven't addressed it directly with you I may assume you don't realize, but if it happens a lot and I don't feel able to discuss it with you, I may cut contact with you instead.

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Comments
sammason ══╣╠══
I'm glad to read your opinions, new friend. Esp your rejection of 'lame' being used to mean 'rubbish' or 'useless'. I am lame.
soundofsunlight ══╣reeds╠══
Hey, thank you for the reminder. Slurs bother me too, and I'm good with not using them, except "st*pid" occasionally sneaks past my filters. :/

I wasn't sure if I had used it so I went through my journal with the ctrl+F and found two. I have changed those sentences. I am sorry about that.
rotating ══╣╠══
thank you so much for this. i am trying really hard to be more conscious about cutting those words from my speech and writing, but i know that i slip up sometimes. (actually, one time i was reading one of your entries and i realized i had unthinkingly used one of the words you listed in my most recent entry, so i immediately replaced it with different language.) i know it's not your job to educate people who use slurs but i just wanted to say i really appreciate the reminder. if you notice any language that is upsetting in my entries and want to discuss it, please let me know!
kehlen_crow ══╣medicine╠══
I will second rotating's comment. I am grateful to you for making me more aware of words being offensive and monitoring what I say.

Yet sometimes now I feel robbed of means to blow off steam, because the vast majority of crude language is actually slurs, both current and more or less dated (like "bastard").

So how do you do it, when you need to let out strong emotions momentarily? Coz even the f-word has this undercurrent of sex being something dirty and taboo.
kehlen_crow ══╣╠══
Also, glad to see you on LJ again, I was wondering if you were well, but graduation explains a lot.
wildrose ══╣╠══
on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.