November 2017
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dream (about PJ)


I was in a church building, and the service had just ended. This 40-something lady asked me to pray for her daughter, who was my age. The girl was naked and crying, so I sat between the pews on the floor and held her and rocked her and prayed for her. I was very careful not to touch her in any way that could be construed as sexual, but I petted her back and lower legs and arms while I held and rocked her. For some reason Pastor John was watching, and he didn't say anything, just looked at me, and I could feel his suspicion (which is out of character for him -- I've never seen him be suspicious), and it made me doubt myself. So after I finished praying for the girl and left, I started wondering about myself. Wondering if I had had subconscious sexual attraction to this girl... and then the scene switched, and I was with a lot of other girls, taking care of a bunch of kids. I found myself very attracted to some of the other girls (who were my age). So. dunno.

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on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.