October 2017
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dream (the best party ever, very cool with bellydancers and everyone I love)


It's a little fuxxy (that was an accident, but it's such a cool word that I'm gonna pronounce it coined and use it) now, but I still remember the feeling...

Ben's family threw me a party (celebrating either my birthday or something that I had done) -- a rockin' one with bellydancers and all kinds of cool people. As we were dancing in the white couch room (which by the way doesn't have white couches), the front door opened and I asked who it could be ('cause all my friends were already there) and in walked Spencer, Paula, June, Gabe, Carla, and all the rest. I was thrilled! My heart was beating so fast. Rebecca laughingly told me how they had gotten the numbers and contacted people... I was in a haze. Whatever the reason for the party was, it meant a lot to me and I was so overwhelmed that they had come.... and I hugged Paula and then Spencer, and Spencer hugged me back and held me, and he was as happy as I was. I remember feeling his heartbeat and feeling so accepted. It was like everyone there had given me a vote of confidence by coming. And Spencer was so my daddy... that's my favorite dream that I can remember. (and Ben's family and my friends knowing me well enough (and caring enough) to hire bellydancers! that was pretty cool too)

feelings: happy
connecting: , ,

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on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.