July 2017
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FathersDay / Paula & babygirl / moving


What I wrote in Spencer's Father's Day card... (the italic bits were already printed in the card)

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Spencer,

In you I have found
someone not only to look up to
but also to laugh with,
someone not only to respect
but also to relate to...


...and that means more to me than you know. In you I found somebody that I could respect, who accepted me as I was and didn't try to change me. For the first time, I felt 'good enough' around someone I respected. You didn't seem to see me as an inconvenience or a burden -- even when my car broke down and it was a huge inconvenience to leave work and come help me -- you treated me like I was more important than your work, even. You showed interest and support in my jewelry business by lending me your camera, and to me that meant that you were interested in and supporting me. You've done more to help me grow up and be myself than anyone else (except Ben). Thank you so much.

You are like a father to me.
I'm proud to be part
of your life,
glad to call you my friend,
and grateful
for the special relationship we share.

Happy Father's Day!


I love you, --signed--
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I was so worried about writing this card. I worried about Paula's card too, but honestly, Spencer means more to me. I've always wanted a dad, whereas I never yearned much for a mom. So I was more worried about getting this one perfect. What I wanted to say was "Thanks for being the father I always wanted" -- without actually saying those words. Do you think I did it? I wish I could know how he responds. :-( He wasn't home when I dropped it off.


Speaking of dropping the card off, when I did so I found out that Paula spent last week in the hospital!!! AAAH! And that she's being watched now, because they found out that she's got a good probability of going into labor early... I complained that "nobody tells me anything" and Paula and June (Paula's mom) started saying how Paula kept wanting to call me but feeling sick and not doing it. They felt guilty, which made me selfishly feel happy 'cause it meant that they didn't want me to feel left out! And I told Paula that I might be moving in down the street, and they were all happy and relieved. (we stopped by the house on our way out and made it certain with J. Gould -- who I like better today, 'cause he had his kids over and was much happier and more easygoing) This is just SO GOD! It's so obviously arranged by God -- a house down the street from them (in the same neighborhood, literally about five houses down), for a good price, right when Paula needs me -- and even though I had like 10 other leads for places, none of them even remotely worked out. (when God really wants me to go through one door, he makes sure to bar the others so I don't see a crack and force my way through, heh heh) I'm delighted and at peace with this move now, 'cause I am certain that it's what God wants. He's so awesome.

YAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAY
YAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAY
YAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAY
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*dancy, dancy, dancy*

Oh yeah, and Thank You darling i_ask_why_me for signing my guestbook! That always makes me so happy!

AND Ben took me to Starbucks for a Java Chip Frappuchino..... yummy!!! He's such a darling... even though he knows NOTHING about packing and moving. I've moved so many times that watching him try to pack is frustrating and hilarious. I tell him over and over again that our little bit of stuff can't possibly take more than three days to pack -- most likely two.

...we stopped by Ben's 'rent's house to finish saying Happy Father's to his dad, but they weren't home...
feelings: bouncy
connecting: ,


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on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.