November 2017
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dream (angelina and maddox)


I went to a dinner with Angelina, Maddox, and a few friends of hers. We had just sat down when one of the men asks me if I think Maddox is going to be prejudiced. I said that that depended on his environment, which offended Angelina, so I explained that I didn't mean just her parenting, but environment in general. They were about to ask me more but I said to leave that conversation for a little later, so we could enjoy ourselves. -- The dream skipped to the end of the meal, and we still hadn't talked about it, but we all got up to leave. Angelina, Maddox and I dropped the man off at his house, and I walked her to her apartment. As we were walking, I was talking about how wonderful this certain kids book was -- with activities and coloring pages -- and she said that yeah, that sounded good, but she didn't want him to be exposed to the polynesian culture (the book was about that culture). I felt I had hit a wall of blindness in Angelina and I was so disappointed with her... I asked why not, and she said, "Because he has his own religion" -- meaning whatever the Cambodian religion is. I just let the matter drop and we walked in silence to her apartment building and didn't speak on the long ride up the elevator. But Maddox liked me and wanted me to hold him, and she didn't have a problem with that, which I felt was a strong measure of trust from her. Finally we reached the top floor, and she got out and walked to her door with Maddox and started rummaging in her purse for her key, not looking at me. So I, crestfallen, said "bye..." and she said curtly, "bye." I walked back into the elevator and a girl who was a dream-friend took one look at me and stormed out of the elevator. She said firmly to Angelina, "We aren't leaving until you really talk to her." Angelina said something to the effect of, "I don't see her. Why isn't she asking if she cares?" My dream-friend got upset and said, "She does this all the time!!" and I realized -- hey, this is Angelina. I should have just been my utter self and not treated her like a average, society-driven person. She'd accept craziness and probably love me for it. Unfortunately, that was when I began to wake up, and my concious mind took over, making the rest of it more a daydream than a dream.

feelings: disappointed
connecting: , ,

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on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.