August 2017
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more car troubles...


We can't afford to get Sylvia fixed yet, so we had her towed here. Ten minutes after I paid the tower, Tim the maintenence guy knocks on my door and tells me that we aren't allowed to park non-working cars here or work on them here. I listen, argue a little, then he says it's in the lease and I feel like an absolute idiot for not checking before paying 60 precious dollars to get the damn car towed here. I shut the door, go flop on my bed and cry.

and cry and cry and cry.... tears are running down my face right now. I don't cry often but right now I feel betrayed almost because I thought we were safe here and now I don't feel safe and I don't want to be here and I don't have anywhere to put Sylvia and if she's here for more than a week they'll 'remove' her and I don't know if they might kick us out. I'm scared and worried...... and my heart hurts and I have nowhere to turn..... and I can't even call anybody to come comfort me and Ben's at work and I just want a place that I can feel safe. I'm sick of having problem after problem with the cars...

And we have to fix Sheridan so he'll pass emissions... and we have to renew the tag... and we have to pay for insurance, which we were going to pay in a lump sum for a year but it looks like we won't be able to do that.

I HURT.
feelings: crushed
connecting:


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on communication, social justice, intimacy, consent, friendship & other relationships, spirituality, gender, queerness, & dreams. Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.
Expect to find curse words, nudity, (occasionally explicit) talk of sex, and angry ranting, but NEVER slurs or sexually violent language. I use TW when I am aware of the need and on request.